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Storming the Castle

‘Storming the Castle’

Season 1, Episode 9 - Aired January 4, 2004

Michael decides to shake off his "good guy" reputation and try to win over Gob's girlfriend. Meanwhile, Maeby and George Michael shop for leather clothes, and Lucille freezes Buster out over his relationship with Lucille 2.

Quote from Lucille

Lucille: You're the only child who chose a spouse I liked, and she's the one who had to die.
Michael: I know. That's rough for you.


Quote from Buster

Lucille: I mean, she's been a family friend for years. It's just... creepy.
Michael: Hi, buddy. Mom, I think you might be overreacting.
Lucille: She changed him as a baby.
Michael: Okay. That- That's about the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Buster: That's why she didn't look surprised.

Quote from Michael

Michael: Stupid. Stupid chair. Very stupid chair. But it's also this stupid model home furniture. Maybe I oughta get myself one of those nice leather chairs from work.
George Michael: People can take chairs home from work?
Michael: Well, not everybody. But I'm the president of the Bluth Company since Dad's in jail. And it's okay if I take a little something from work, you know?
George Michael: Yeah, but isn't that why Grandpa's in jail, because he took things from work?
Michael: You're a good kid, you know that?
George Michael: I mean, a chair costs money, so it's like stealing, and you always say...
Michael: Not stealing. Not. Okay, I'm the one that taught you stealing is bad, all right? I'm just saying, you know, if I got a leather chair, okay? And I get to lean back... Oh, this one's gonna go. [chair breaks]

Quote from Lindsay

Lindsay: Leather chair? So, you're against stealing, but skinning cows is cool with you.
Michael: I'm fine, by the way. Frankly, your concern is getting embarrassing. Since when are you against leather?
Maeby: Yeah, you're not even a vegetarian.
Lindsay: I'm not against the insides. People need meat to survive.
Michael: You are aware they don't remove it from the cow surgically, right?

Quote from Buster

Michael: Okay. Before I leave this place for the last time ever, has anyone seen Gob?
Buster: I saw him last night at the Playtime Pizza Theater. On my date. Of which I have another one tonight. And I'm going to continue dating, Mom.
Michael: Sounds a little bit like "dating Mom."
Buster: It's starting to feel a little like it.
Michael: Hmm.

Quote from Lindsay

Lindsay: You are too nice.
Michael: Oh, come on. What was I supposed to do? Tell her that Gob is not staying here? Tell her Gob is screwing around on her? God knows where he is? Actually, that-that sounded okay.
Lindsay: Nah, you'll never be able to do it. You're too good. You're the noble one.
Michael: Thank you.
Lindsay: The one who never wins.
Michael: l-I don't know about that.
Lindsay: The loser. The fool.

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: She is such a hypocrite. Doesn't it drive you nuts?
George Michael: Crazy. Wait. Who is? Which part?
Maeby: My mom. She pretends to care about all these causes.
Narrator: Lindsay had always been celebrated for her wine and cheese charity fund-raisers.
[montage of photographs of Lindsay and Tobias hosting dinners in front of banners proclaiming "No More Meat", "No More Fish", "More Meat and Fish!"]

Quote from George Michael

Maeby: I mean, now she's anti-leather? Let's see how she feels when her daughter's pro-leather. Wanna go shopping with me? I bet you could get something cool.
Narrator: In fact, George Michael had been trying to prove to Maeby that he was macho, after an embarrassing brush with her.
Maeby: Your legs look exactly like mine, and I just shaved mine.
George Michael: So I'm thinking of getting a motorcycle.
George Michael: I'm gonna need a leather jacket when I'm on my hog and need to go into a controlled slide.

Quote from Lucille

Michael: Mom, I'm looking for Gob. There's some people after him, and I don't know whether it's gambling or what but, um, they wanna break his legs.
Lucille: It's a good thing he's already got that little scooter. [laughs] Oh, don't give me that look. I happen to be a more caring mother than most.
Buster: Where's my bed?
Lucille: I put it in storage. I guess you'll just have to decide which Lucille you want to spend your nights with.

Quote from Gob

Gob: No, he's a magician. He replaced me in the Alliance. He's the reason I gotta do my act in this hellhole.
Michael: Why does he wanna break your legs?
Gob: He doesn't wanna break my legs. He wants to take my legs.
Michael: l- I don't-
Gob: The legs. The bottom half of my saw-the-lady-in-half trick. [taps box] No, not now. I'm showing him how to do the trick. Two chicks curl up in a box. We call one the head and one the legs.
Boy: So that's how they do it.
Gob: God, I gotta stop giving these things away.

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