Narrator: And George Michael tried to break up with Ann.
George Michael: I can't go out tomorrow night, 'cause there's this movie premiere at- It's kinda racy, but-
Ann: Oh, the cousin one? I can't believe it. I was just gonna ask you to go.
George Michael: You want to see that?
Ann: No, I want to get the whole church group together. We're gonna picket those bastards.
[flashback:]
Narrator: George Michael had only heard Ann swear once before when he joined some of her youth group to protest the home of Marc Cherry, executive producer of the hit show Desperate Housewives.
Marc Cherry: It's a satire!
Protesters: [chant] There's nothing funny about fornication!
Ann: The bastard saw us! [kisses George Michael]

Narrator: Michael had just surprised his sleeping son by taking him camping.
Michael: I put this off too long, and it's too important. Your Uncle Oscar can stay in prison one more day, right?
Narrator: Not according to that day's blog on ImOscar.com.
Michael: This here is way more important than me trying to find my father. Although, I was very close. I almost had Pop-Pop in Reno.
George Michael: Me, too.

George Michael: A suit! Dad, it's a Jack Welch!
Michael: I want you to look under the pants.
George Michael: Quicken! Premier! Dad, I hope you kept the receipt.
Michael: You want to return that?
George Michael: What? No, I want to deduct it.

Narrator: And George Michael slipped back into seduction mode.
George Michael: A man, a woman... A bedroom. Let's solve for X.
Maeby: I don't know what you're talking about.
George Michael: Well, you know, in algebra, you have an unknown element, and we call it X, and then you have to solve for it to find out what number X is.
Maeby: X isn't a number.
George Michael: So you don't even really know the basic...
Narrator: But in that moment, the urge to educate her was more powerful than the urge to kiss her.
George Michael: ...stuff real quick. All right, so if you take something like this, 3x+1=10.
Narrator: And with the algebra lesson complete, George Michael pivoted back to his overtly sexual seduction.
George Michael: So, therefore, when I say, "You and me in a bedroom, let's solve for X," I'm stating it as a kind of formula.
Maeby: Yeah, let's get wasted. Let's drink that formula.
George Michael: It's not that kind of formula. No, I'll show you what a formula is real quick, 'cause that's very important.

Narrator: George Michael was showing his cousin the new Fakeblock offices.
George Michael: He wants me to help him print things, and I...
Maeby: I will say the other place had more of a tech start-up vibe.
George Michael: Yeah, but the fraud part of the company will be more at home here, you know?
Maeby: Yeah.
George Michael: If these walls could only testify, huh?

George Michael: Hey, guys. Yo. Hey. All right, question: How many of you wake up with a knot in your stomach? Right. Me, too. But I like to think of that knot in my stomach as a little ball of energy. You know, it keeps me frightened when I should be calm. It pumps adrenaline through my veins when ordinary blood is what I need. But, you know, all of these things can create a winning spirit. One that I would like for all of you to share in. So that we can turn those knots in our stomach into why-nots. You know? People say there there's no such thing as privacy on the Internet. Well, why not?
Man: Why not?
George Michael: Yeah. Right. People say no one can build a completely impenetrable wall. Why not?
Employees: Why not?
George Michael: And, you know, people say you shouldn't start a company without cracking the technology that supports the flagship product of the company. For obvious reasons. Well, why not?
Employees: Why not?
George Michael: And what if you find out you're never gonna get paid, there is no product, and you're like, "Well, we can't let him get away with this." Well, why not? [employees murmuring]
Narrator: That may have been a step too far. But it wouldn't matter, because Maeby had just gotten some good news.

George Michael: So you think they'll get divorced?
Maeby: I don't care. And I'm not saying "I don't care" like kids who say they don't care when they really do 'cause I really don't care.
George Michael: Right. I know. Who cares, right?
Maeby: I mean, I care. How could you not? You know, our family's really messed up.
George Michael: I know. We're the only normal ones.
Maeby: At least we got each other. Right? [they hug] George Michael?
George Michael: Sorry. Sometimes I don't know if it's gonna be a long or short hug or a middle-medium hug. It's hard to tell sometimes. Yeah, that was a good hug. That's plenty for now. [Maeby closes the door] Hug's gotta end sometime, obviously.

Michael: What comes before anything? What have we always said is the most important thing?
George Michael: Breakfast.
Michael: Family.
George Michael: Family. Right. I thought you meant of the things you eat.

Maeby: Can you believe this? They're still fighting.
George Michael: Yeah, I know. I'm tempted to kiss again so we could teach 'em a lesson.
Maeby: Why would that teach them a lesson?
George Michael: No, I mean, uh, to freak them out.
Maeby: That doesn't make any sense.
George Michael: Isn't that what makes it funny? [laughs] I'm laughing. Go fish... Uno... Okay. I just need a drink. [drinks]

George Michael: You know, if you want me on wood block, I can keep perfect time. Some call me the human metronome. You notice how I'm always on time? I'm never late for things.
Maeby: Yeah, but I think punctuality is slightly different from rhythm.
George Michael: No, it's not. It's the exact same thing. It's knowing how long things take.