TV Quotes

Maeby: Well, that explains why Maeby's credit cards aren't working.
George Michael: Maeby's credit cards?
Maeby: Oh, sorry. The minute I put the teeth in, I become a completely different person. [chuckles] Speaking of which, there's your solution. We both have alter egos, and I think it's about time we killed them off. What do you say? George Maharis can have a heart attack. Maeby gets hit by a bus.
George Michael: You're killing off Maeby?
Maeby: Yup, see you.
George Michael: I know Annette can be forgetful, but she remembers Maeby is the dominant personality, right?
Maeby: Hey, I got a pretty sweet setup here. Okay? I finally got rid of my beloved Stan. He's in the hospital, massive head injury. Free rent. New neighbors every six to eight months. Also, Maeby doesn't even have a high school diploma. Not a good move, given the world my generation is leaving hers.
George Michael: I'm glad it's easy for you, but me and George Maharis have the same teeth. [Maeby chuckles] People are gonna figure it out. If I'm not arrested for fraud, I'll be in debt for life. I'm gonna end up in my old bedroom.
Maeby: Yeah. It's six o'clock. I'm already an hour and a half late for dinner. And I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself, but, uh... Annette, she like-a the pasta, hmm? [sings] How did you ever find me?

Tobias: All right, look, we're in a bad situation here. But, I've been jammed with bigger things in tighter spots than this.

Gob: So, what's up?
George Michael: I, uh, need you to make some fake I.D.'s for me and Maeby.
Gob: Like a passport?
George Michael: Yeah, yeah. That'd be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

Maeby: You would've had to lie about scuba, 'cause you would've been scared.
George Michael: Why do you say I'm scared of scuba? I'm not.
Maeby: You passed out at the aquarium.
George Michael: Well, they make you feel like you're underwater with all these giant...
Maeby: Dolphins?
George Michael: I still think that was some kind of smiling, kind of bemused baby shark.