Judith: All right, here's a list of the gear you'll need for the staff retreat on Mount Digney.
Mary: Ooh, this'll be fun.
Nina: Are there gonna be snakes out there?
Judith: If you're asking if my lawyer's coming, the answer is no. [laughs]

Judith: Oh, Mary, guess who's partnering up for the big Badger Day dance contest.
Strudwick: Me and Judith.
Mary: Oh, that'll be great.
Strudwick: We'll be practicing in my office, and we didn't want people to get the wrong idea.
Judith: I'm a very sexual person when I dance.

Mary: I'm really excited about this class. I think learning self-defense will come in handy.
Judith: Indeed, Mary. I am so tired of going to the bars and being groped by every straight man in Rutherford.

Dick: Judith.
Judith: As head of the disciplinary committee, it is my sad duty to inform you that one of your students has registered a complaint against you.
Dick: There must be some mistake.
Judith: Is it true that you forced them to write humiliating letters to their parents?
Dick: Well, yes, but that can't be it.
Judith: I'm afraid it is, and according to university rules of conduct, you must attend sensitivity training. My office will contact you. Oh, and Dick, I wouldn't leave town.

Dick: I'm telling you, Mary, that woman has it in for me.
Judith: Maybe it's all in your head. I used to think there was a hidden camera in the ladies' room. Eventually, I dismantled the ceiling tiles and found nothing. I think I've said too much.

Judith: When they found him, he was completely devoured by woodland creatures.

Mary: I got it! They accepted my application. I'm going to Borneo!
Dick: What's so great about Borneo?
Mary: Oh, Dick, this is a tremendous opportunity. A chance to really study, to immerse myself in a primitive culture.
Judith: Congratulations, Mary. I myself could never live in the wild.
Mary: I've got to rub this in Dr. Erdman's face. Let's go to the faculty lounge and just let it slip out accidentally.
Judith: Bring the letter. I'll set, you spike.

Judith: I'd like to propose a toast. To Dick and Mary. May you both be as happy as I am.

Nina: I never dreamed I'd see the day Dr. Albright settled down.
Judith: Mary hasn't settled down. She's just settled. [laughs]

Dick: So, Mary, what time should I pick you up for King of the Jig?
Mary: I'm not going with you.
Dick: But we made our plans three months ago.
Mary: We broke up. Judith and I already got tickets.
Judith: And I am not leaving that theater without a sweaty scarf.