Dick: [on the phone] Are you sure you can't make it? It should be a great show. I told you, my name is Dick Solomon. You made a delivery at my office a few months back. Yes, I signed your electronic clipboard, and you made a nice comment about the size of my package. Hello? Hello?!

Harry: Ah, good news. The falafel connection needs a night manager.
Tommy: Harry, you go to bed at 8:00. Besides, this job requires a high school diploma.
Harry: Well, that's discrimination.

Tommy: Harry, is there any cereal left?
Harry: Nope.
Tommy: Guess I'll just have some toast.
Harry: No toast, either. Oh, and we're also completely out of bread.

Sally: [English accent] We spent the night together. He got a little hungry. What's the big deal?
Dick: You slept with him?
Sally: No. We were discussing his writing. He is an artist, you know.
Harry: Yeah. A starving artist.
Tommy: Oh, Harry, that was pretty clever.
Harry: Yeah. I have no idea why.

Dick: So, Mary, what time should I pick you up for King of the Jig?
Mary: I'm not going with you.
Dick: But we made our plans three months ago.
Mary: We broke up. Judith and I already got tickets.
Judith: And I am not leaving that theater without a sweaty scarf.

Dick: Well, what am I supposed to do?
Mary: Well, why don't you bring one of your friends?
Dick: My friends? Oh, oh. Yes, of course. It's just that there's so many. Choosing one could result in hurt feelings. Ironically, I might end up losing friends over this.
Mary: Maybe we'll see you there.
Dick: Mm, yeah, I'll see you there. Yeah, with one of my many, many friends! Nina?
Nina: Not a chance in hell.

Sally: Oh, no. Is that Baywatch?
Harry: It's not Baywatch. It's Baywatch Nights.
Sally: So what's the difference?
Tommy: It's colder at night.

Mary: Hi, Dick.
Dick: Hello, Mary, Judith. I- I'm just waiting here for my friend.
Mary: Well, I hope they get here soon. They're going to close the doors in 5 minutes.
Judith: Bear in mind, no one will be seated once Peter Connelly's shirt comes off.

Dick: So, Don, I have an extra ticket. It's yours if you want it.
Don: An extra ticket, huh? I hear it's a pretty good show.
Dick: Pretty good? The Rutherford Bugle calls it "tap-licious."
Don: Well, I suppose crime could strike inside the theater just as well as it could out here.
Dick: Look at Abe Lincoln.
Don: Let's go!

Tommy: Night school is the same thing as regular school. The only difference is it's at night.
Harry: Which makes it really spooky.
Tommy: Granted. But there's only a few things you need to remember, you know: make sure the tough guys think you're cool, grab a seat next to a babe, and, uh, you know, don't let the teacher push you around.
Harry: Okay. Tough. Babe. Don't let the teacher push you around. Is that it?
Tommy: Oh! Yeah, and never put your mouth directly on the drinking fountain.
Harry: But that's how I drink from the fountain.
Tommy: Not at school.
Harry: Okay.