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A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2

‘A Nightmare on Dick Street: Part 2’

Season 2, Episode 26 -  Aired May 18, 1997

With Dick and Sally still medicated following their recent nightmares, Tommy takes charge and makes an emergency call to the Big Giant Head to ask for permission to return to their home planet.

Quote from Harry

Tommy: Oh, man. The High Commander and the Lieutenant are incapacitated. You know what that means? The Information Officer takes over, and that's me. I'm in charge of the mission.
Harry: Permission to speak, High Commander.
Tommy: Permission granted.
Harry: Well, we might as well just take this mission, roll it up and stick it... [voice quavers] Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. "Your request to return home for emergency maintenance has been authorized."
Tommy: Yes!
Harry: "The time-space portal will open tomorrow evening between 8:51 and 8:53 P.M. Earth time. On your journey home, we will be showing Tin Cup, starring Kevin Costner and Rene Russo."
Tommy: Well, that settles it. We're going.
Harry: "The Big Giant Head looks forward to reading your comprehensive report on the history of human civilization."
Tommy: Oh, no.


Quote from Sally

Don: Sally, uh, you're gonna have to calm down.
Sally: Oh, don't you see, Don? You're alive, which means it's my brain. My sick, twisted brain. I could be capable of anything. Anything at all! [gasps] There's only one hope, Don. I've got to get on the pill.
Don: Um, this isn't how I expected this to happen, but hey.
Sally: Dick's on the pill, and it seems to be working for him.
Don: Okay, you lost me again.
Sally: Uh, I'll call you when I'm not myself anymore.

Quote from Dick

Tommy: Oh, Dick, Sally! It's happening to me too! I'm falling apart at the seams!
Dick: Oh, this chair feels all soft on my bottom.
Tommy: Will you listen to me? This is serious!
Sally: You know what's good for serious things? One of those.
Harry: Oh, no, no, no, Tommy. Don't do it.
Dick: Look, Tommy. Look how pretty they are. And they have a line down the middle where you can break them in half.
Harry: So you can take half?
Dick: No, so you can take one and a half.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Tommy, Harry, I want to thank you for getting us off that pill.
Harry: Oh, you feel better?
Dick: Oh, I feel horrible. But at least I feel.

Quote from Tommy

Sally: While we were "out", Tommy got a hold of the Big Giant Head.
Tommy: We leave tonight at 8:53.
Harry: Last chance for ice cream.
Dick: Oh, when are we coming back?
Tommy: I don't know, I didn't ask.
Sally: Who knows? The service department's always backed up.
Harry: Yep. They'll probably have to send out for parts.
Tommy: Could be a week, could be a year, could be 200 years.

Quote from Dick

Dick: What about Mary?
Sally: Oh, she'll be dead.
Dick: I can't leave her without saying good-bye.
Sally: Wait! Dick, there isn't time.
Dick: Sure, there is.
Sally: No, listen, I know you, Dick. You're gonna go there, you're gonna get all ooey-gooey, and you'll miss the transport.
Dick: That is such a lie!
Sally: Now, remember one thing. Harry is the transmitter, and he's coming with us, okay? So without him, you'd be stranded here forever.
Dick: Don't worry. I'm gonna steel myself up, march in there, and just do the headlines: "Love ya, miss ya, good-bye." And maybe a little second-base action, but that's it.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Hello, Mary. I came by to say I will miss you terribly.
Mary: Okay. Is there anything else I should know?
Dick: Yes. I care about you deeply and I love you.
Mary: Of course. Do you mind if I pack? [Dick whimpers] What?
Dick: Nothing. I bit my fist. In conclusion, I'll always carry a locket of your DNA, and you'll be glad to know that the vision of your naked body will be with me for all time.
Mary: Well, I guess there's nothing else to say but good bye. Good bye, Dick.
Dick: Good bye, Mary. I'm walking away now.

Quote from Dick

Dick: No. No, this is not how it ends. This has been a long and difficult journey, and it will not end this way. There will be no tepid farewells for us. I need you, Mary. Your eyes, your face, your every nook and cranny. Especially your cranny. You are Mary world, and I love Mary world. It's the happiest place on earth. Oh, come on, Mary! Let's take a spin on those teacups!
Mary: I don't want to go!
Dick: I don't want to go either!
Mary: Where are you going?
Dick: Uh, nowhere. Maybe I am losing my mind, but while there's a little left, I want to marry you.
Mary: Marry me?
Dick: Sure, I'll marry you. We'll be so happy.
Mary: This is so great!
Dick: I know!

Quote from Mrs. Dubcek

Don: Thanks, Mrs. Dubcek. I wouldn't ask you to let me in if I didn't think Sally really needed help.
Mrs. Dubcek: You know, I used to date a police officer. Maybe you know him, Teddy Rubino.
Don: He's the guy whose wife put a slug in him for fooling around.

Quote from Don

Don: Dear God! Stand back. I'm afraid he's dead.
Mrs. Dubcek: Are you sure?
Don: Of course I'm sure. I'm a cop.
Harry: [sits up] Hi, Don.
Don: Damn it, I got to learn how to take a pulse.

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