Judith: Oh, this is awkward. Rutherford is such a small town. This will power the rumor mill for months.
Dick: Shh, shh! Never mind that. I need to listen to the conversation with my girlfriend.

Judith: Trouble in paradise, Mary?
Mary: Oh, shut up. Don't you have anything better to do? Why don't you get a life so I'll have somebody to talk about?
Judith: [flatly] Ouch.

Dick: Look, why can't you just drop this? Fine. I got engaged to you and didn't tell you I had a wife. I said I was sorry. It made me feel terrible, but I've stopped beating myself up about it.
Nina: Well, that makes one of you.
Mary: It's okay, Nina. Nothing to worry about. I'm over it. I'm an adult. I'm moving on. In fact, Sally, I'm glad you're here. I have my yoga class tonight and Judith can't make it.
Judith: I have a groin pull.

Dick: [on TV] Run for your lives! The big women are angry! Save yourself while you still can!
Judith: Boy, I must be buzzed ' cause I thought that was Dick.
Don: Yeah. Me, too. Have I ever told you how attractive I find you?
Judith: No. And I hope you never do.
[As Don turns away from Judith, she places her hand on his thigh. Don moves over and kisses her.]

Judith: Thank you for inviting me to your conference. How do I look?
Nina: [chuckles] You look fine.
Judith: I love Bolivian men. They're like Hondurans without all the attitude.

Judith: By the way, Chancellor Duncan got a new haircut.
Strudwick: Really? Let's go tell him how great it looks.
Judith: I have dibs on the bangs.
Strudwick: Okay.

Judith: I'm gonna squash you like a bug, Harry Solomon! Die! Die! Die! If I'm not mistaken, I think I just released my inner animal. Thank you, Harry.
Harry: Oh, well, it's my pleasure.

Dick: Judith, I'm sure there are a plethora of eligible bachelors out there who'd be happy to take that extra ticket.
Judith: Of course there are. Nina, you want to come with?
Nina: I thought you'd never ask, and I was happy about that.
Mary: Oh, you're gonna love it, Nina. Once, when I was in college, I snuck into a Gordon Lightfoot concert. It was the most fun I have ever had!
Dick: Well, you won't have to sneak in this time, pumpkin.
Judith: Oh, God. If he sing The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, I will throw my panties on the stage... again.