‘Dick Behaving Badly’
Season 2, Episode 19 - Aired March 23, 1997
Dick feels that Mary is running his life so he turns to an unlikely source for help being a "real man". Meanwhile, Sally and Tommy play Monopoly.
Quote from Harry
Tommy: Good morning, Harry. What are you eating?
Harry: New cereal.
Tommy: Monopoly?
Harry: Finally a cereal about real estate.
Sally: Uh, Harry, that's a game, like Life.
Harry: Life's a cereal too.
Tommy: And a magazine.
Sally: Yeah, and a bowl of cherries, but that doesn't change the fact that you're eating little plastic houses.
Harry: Plastic, no. These houses are just stale. [spits out] Stale plastic!
Quote from Nina
Dick: Nina, do you think I'm whipped?
Nina: "Whipped"?
Dick: I know, it's crazy.
Nina: [chuckles] By Dr. Albright?
Dick: What was I thinking?
Nina: Dr. Solomon?
Dick: Yes, Nina.
Nina: You are wrapped around that woman's finger like a yo-yo. And she is always walking the dog.
Quote from Sally
Tommy: I want Tennessee.
Sally: You already own the railroads and all the utilities.
Tommy: I need Tennessee. I need it bad.
Sally: You just need to be the big man, don't you? Well, you know what, Tommy? It's the little ones. The ones who labor to build houses on the Baltics and the Mediterranean. The ones who pay school taxes and property taxes. The ones who are happy just to get a bank error in their favor. For they're the ones, Tommy! The ones who own this country.
Tommy: I'll give you $400 and my "get out of jail free" card.
Sally: Thank you very much.
Quote from Harry
Harry: Hey, Dick, why don't you slip one of these in your wallet? Might come in handy.
Dick: A moist towelette?
Harry: In case they serve ribs.
Quote from Judith
Judith: Mary, these are the dullest people I've ever met. They make my mother look like Rip Taylor. Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me. I have to go wake up.
Quote from Judith
Dick: Good morning, ladies. Hey, Judith, did those fries come with soup?
Judith: I'd sue him if I knew what he was talking about.
Dick: Oow!
Quote from Harry
Harry: Okay, Professor Plum gets into the library with a pillow.
Sally: A pillow?
Harry: You can kill someone with a pillow.
Tommy: There's no pillow in Clue.
Harry: That's what makes it so ingenious.
Quote from Sally
Sally: Five. One, two, three, four...
Tommy: Eh, eh, you're not the top hat, I'm the top hat. You're the boot.
Sally: I'm not the boot.
Tommy: Harry, who's the boot?
Harry: Sally said she wanted to be the boot , because it reminded her of a boot.
Sally: Fine, I'm the boot. One, two, three, four, five. Community chest. "You have won second prize in a beauty contest. Collect $10."
Tommy: Ooh, $10, you must be real pretty.
Sally: Yeah, pretty close to owning your knobby butt. Now roll the dice, you long-haired alien freak.
Quote from Tommy
Tommy: I tell you what you're gonna do.
Sally: What am I gonna do?
Tommy: You're giving me Marvin Gardens. I'm giving you Waterworks and St. Charles.
Sally: I don't want Waterworks.
Tommy: I'm giving you Waterworks, St. Charles and $200. You're taking the deal.
Sally: I'm not taking the deal.
Tommy: $400, take a deal!
Sally: $500!
Tommy: Deal! [chuckles] You're gonna like this deal.
Harry: Tommy, Dick and I are going to the bachelor party, wanna come?
Tommy: Does it look like I have time for strippers? I'm playing freaking Monopoly here.