[After Uncle Phil and Will enter the courtroom, Jazz walks in with a neck brace]
Will: Jazz, man, what are you trying to pull?
Jazz: $10,000 a year for life.
Will: You know what, I don't think it's quite tight enough.
Jazz: Okay, okay. But you can't blame me for my entrepreneurial spirit.

Jazz: I'm here to practice for the game show.
Will: Wait a minute, how do you know I'm going on a game show?
Jazz: From Willy at Roscoe's Chicken 'n' Waffles. He knows everything. He's the source that revealed that Mariah Carey's Black.

Tyriq: What's he doing here?
Jazz: No, what's he doing here?
Will: Well, come, now y'all not still mad at each other about the watch thing?
Tyriq: Yo, he sold me a fake Rolex.
Jazz: You paid with a fake 20.
Will: All right, now first of all, you should have known that it was fake when you saw that the warranty was only for two hours. And you should have known that the Jackson on a 20 ain't Jermaine.
Jazz: They all look alike to me.

Tyriq: [to Will] Okay, you know, because I'm your best friend I respect your decision. Because I am your best friend. Peace, my best friend.
Jazz: Some best friend. When you go to your car, you gotta walk.
Tyriq: What? Don't you?
Jazz: Please, watch this. Yo, Mr. Banks, my tubby judicial brother.
[Uncle Phil throws Jazz out of the house]

Bob Eubanks: Will and Carlton, nice to have you with us. Okay, let's meet their opponents now. This fellow says he's into frozen pizza, Laverne & Shirley reruns and I want you to meet LA's oldest 10th grader his name is Tyriq Johnson! Tyriq's partner is a brain surgeon who still finds time to date the salubrious Whitney Houston. Let's have a warm Double Trouble welcome for Dr. Jazzy Jeff M.D., Ph.D., and O.P.P.
Will: What the hell are they doing here?
Carlton: And how long has he been dating Whitney Houston?

Will: Jazz, if our friendship means anything to you, you'll open this door right now. I walked 10 miles and took four buses to get here, now open this door. [Jazz opens the door] That's more like it.
[Jazz throws Will out of his apartment building]

Will: Hey, Judge.
Philip: Now, Will, please. I haven't even announced that I'm running.
Jazz: I don't think you'd have to announce it, Mr. Banks. If you ran, we'd hear you coming.
Philip: I'm running for Superior Court Judge.
Jazz: He still could use the exercise.

Jazz: What's up, Will? Man, what's with all the reporters? I ain't seen no chalk outlines or nothing.
Will: That's 'cause I didn't murder you yet.
Jazz: What's got your BVDs in a bunch?
Will: Well, for starters, you ruined the most important day in my uncle's life.
Jazz: Haagen-Dazs opened in Bel-Air?

Jazz: Crocket anyone?
Will: Jazz, you all right, man? You got a kind of a Clark Kent-Urkel thing jumping all over you.
Carlton: Actually, Will, he looks like me.
Will: Well, yeah, that's what I was saying.
Jazz: I'm all ready for my trip to college. About time, too. I spent eight years in high school.
Will: Jazz, Uncle Phil is going to be my chaperon and I don't think he wants you to come, buddy.
Jazz: Well, I guess I better return these stupid, funky clothes. Here, Carlton.

Carlton: Hey, Will, isn't that Jazz?
Will: Jazz, what are you doing here?
Jazz: Ssh. I'm on the list. They think I'm the Black dude from Mod Squad.