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‘Here Comes the Judge’ Quotes Page 1 of 4

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Here Comes the Judge

307. Here Comes the Judge

Aired October 26, 1992

As Uncle Phil announces he is running against Judge Robertson (Sherman Hemsley), Will's legal troubles threaten to overshadow the campaign.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: I can't believe this. I mean, Will being arrested means we're all going to be investigated. I mean, this is how they knocked off Imelda Marcos. I'll just die if they touch my shoes.
Geoffrey: I'd die if you made your own bed.


Quote from Jazz

Will: Hey, Judge.
Philip: Now, Will, please. I haven't even announced that I'm running.
Jazz: I don't think you'd have to announce it, Mr. Banks. If you ran, we'd hear you coming.
Philip: I'm running for Superior Court Judge.
Jazz: He still could use the exercise.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: What's up, Will? Man, what's with all the reporters? I ain't seen no chalk outlines or nothing.
Will: That's 'cause I didn't murder you yet.
Jazz: What's got your BVDs in a bunch?
Will: Well, for starters, you ruined the most important day in my uncle's life.
Jazz: Haagen-Dazs opened in Bel-Air?

Quote from Will

Philip: Will, how could you get $2,000 worth of parking tickets when I told you to get rid of that car months ago?
Will: Actually, I did get rid of it. See, I gave it to a friend. Look, I swear to you, Uncle Phil there ain't no way I got them parking tickets.
Philip: Look at the printout. Huh? "Snuffy's Chicken Shack", "Big Ben's Barbeque", "Alice's All Nude Review". What do you call this?
Will: One hell of a Friday night. Can I see that, Uncle Phil? Wait a minute, Uncle Phil, these are all Jazz's hangouts. He must have gotten all these parking tickets. I'm serious. I told him I'd kill him. How could he go to Alice's All Nude Review without me?

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: Hey, hey G, you want to go watch some Underdog?
Geoffrey: Why, do I look like a moron? [answers phone] Banks residence.
Will: G, look, if that's Jazz, tell him I do not want to talk to him.
Geoffrey: It's for me. It's my accountant. [on the phone] So what are you wearing?

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Well, I guess I ought to be going. You probably got college applications to fill out.
Will: Well, yeah, actually, I do.
Jazz: You probably want to hang out with educated people who drink their malt liquor in a glass.
Will: What are you talking about, Jazz?
Jazz: Face it, Will. You're going to go off to college to be somebody and I'm going to be stuck here living foot to mouth.
Will: I think you mean hand to mouth, Jazz.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Which reminds me, I brought your CD player back.
Will: See, Jazz, now this is not my CD player, see 'cause my CD player has the wires on the inside.
Jazz: I'm sorry, man. How can I make it up to you?
Will: Jazz, how about paying for it?
Jazz: Why would I want to buy a broken CD player?

Quote from Jazz

Will: Jazz, what did you do to my jacket?
Jazz: You told me to get it cleaned. So I washed it.
Will: I don't believe you, man, first my CD player, now this. You make a doorknob look smart, man.
Jazz: No need to get testy. At least I got out all the A.1. sauce.
Jazz: Whoa, hold up. Underdog's on.
Will: Excuse me, but I'm watching the Eagles.
Jazz: Well, excuse me... but you once preferred the whimsy of a yogi and a Boo Boo. Will, I hardly know you.

Quote from Jazz

Hilary: Well, I'm ready.
Jazz: I've been waiting all my life to hear you say that.
Hilary: I meant, I'm ready for the press conference.
Philip: You know, sometimes I lose sight of why I want to be a judge. Then you open your mouth, and it all comes flooding back.
Jazz: Thank you. See, Will, I inspire him.

Quote from Will

Trevor: Judge Robertson, how does it feel to be running against your own student?
Judge Robertson: Philip Banks is a gentleman and one of the smartest students I ever had. A man who would bring honor to the bench. Don't get me wrong, I want the job. But I can't think of another person that I would mind losing to but this man here. I love you, my son. What a guy.
Dobson: Mr. Banks, what's your response?
Philip: Uh... Excuse me.
Police Officer: Mr. Banks, we're looking for your nephew, a William Smith.
Philip: Oh, my God.
Will: It's over, it's all over.
Police Officer: Are you Will Smith?
Will: No, Rahjim Shabaz, Muslim activist. Salaam alaikum.
Carlton: Will, what's wrong?
Police Officer: You're under arrest, Shabaz.

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