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‘Fresh Prince After Dark’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Fresh Prince After Dark

409. Fresh Prince After Dark

Aired November 8, 1993

Uncle Phil is outraged when Hilary is asked to pose for Playboy magazine. Meanwhile, Will makes a date with Jackie (Tyra Banks).

Quote from Will

Will: I guess I could kiss heaven goodbye because it got to be a sin to look this good.

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Quote from Jazz

Carlton: Hey, Will, isn't that Jazz?
Will: Jazz, what are you doing here?
Jazz: Ssh. I'm on the list. They think I'm the Black dude from Mod Squad.

Quote from Will

Will: Okay, next Saturday night?
Jackie: Bachelorette party.
Will: Christmas?
Jackie: I'm going home to Philly.
Will: Then New Year's Eve? Groundhog Day? Cinco de Mayo? Rosh Hashanah, huh?

Quote from Will

Jackie: Will, you just hit on me from force of habit. Now, if you really wanna go out with me why not step to me like a man?
Will: Well, okay. So Jacqueline I wonder if you'd do me the honor of having dinner with me.
Jackie: Okay.
Will: "Okay"? "Okay" is all right if I offered you a government cheese sandwich, but I'm offering you a buffet of love, child.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Would you like to have dinner with the children, sir?
Philip: Yes, that would be nice, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Too bad. They're not here.
Philip: Then why did you bring it up?
Geoffrey: If you don't care where your children are, sir, neither do I.
Philip: Okay, where are they?
Geoffrey: Sir, I could never betray their confidence. [Philip chuckles as he hands Geoffrey a note] They're at the Playboy Mansion. All except young Ashley. She's upstairs with her boyfriend.
Philip: Ah!
Geoffrey: That one's on the house.

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: Hilary, are you really going to pose in that magazine?
Hilary: Why? Does it bother you?
Ashley: A little. I don't even like to get undressed in gym class.
Hilary: Ashley, your body is going through some changes and they may seem awkward and embarrassing but I promise you, it's completely normal. And the discomfort, it's only temporary.
Ashley: I know. I look great naked. It's just that I don't like a bunch of gooney people staring at me.
Hilary: Oh, you get used to it.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: [in the mirror] Well, hello, Hef. Oh, pshaw. Don't be silly. I'm glad I could come. Oh, Miss December. Oh, baby, I was gonna call you. Come here, girl.
Geoffrey: Excuse me, Master William if you can tear yourself away from your imaginary friend... a Miss Jacqueline's on the phone.
Will: Oh, I forgot all about Jackie. Look, G. G, G If you had to decide between going on a date with a girl you care about and going to the Playboy Mansion, which would it be?
Geoffrey: The fact you're even asking, Master William tells me that you really care about the lady.
Will: I guess I do.
Geoffrey: Admirable. Tell me, might this young lady have a terminal illness?
Will: No, G, of course not.
Geoffrey: Then may I point out, she'll still be here tomorrow.

Quote from Will

Hilary: Wait a minute, Will. I think I'm having second thoughts.
Will: What do you mean?
Hilary: I don't know if doing the layout is worth having Daddy hate me the rest of my life.
Will: No, no, no, it's only the rest of his life. After them pictures come out, how much longer could he have?
Hilary: Will.
Will: I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking. I thought you wanted to do the pictures.
Hilary: Well, I do.
Will: I'm saying you can't just let your pop be pushing you around all the time.
Hilary: It would be so much easier if only he liked Playboy.
Will: Liked it? He's got issues in his bathroom from, like, 1964.

Quote from Will

Will: Let's just go to the party.
Carlton: Freeze!
Will: Oh, look, the Little Republican Store must've opened.
Carlton: Good joke, Will. I'll laugh on the way to the party.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Family, I have an announcement. Listen, Playboy is doing a pictorial on the prettiest weather girls from coast to coast. They're gonna call it "Warm Fronts." And they want me to be in it.
Philip: Absolutely not.
Hilary: But don't you even wanna hear what I have to say about it?
Carlton: You heard our father: No!
Hilary: Carlton, what do you care?
Carlton: Look, I will not be publicly embarrassed by a potential scandal.
Will: Now, now, don't get your Underoos in a knot, stumpy. Hilary knows what she's doing.
Hilary: Wait a minute, I haven't even decided-
Will: Quiet, Hilary. Work with me here, Hil. I can see it now: Long afternoons kicking back on a chaise longue watching full-body contact volleyball up at Hef's place.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: Hilary, as long as you live in my house, you will abide by my rules. And that goes for the rest of you.
Carlton: That's telling us, Dad.
Hilary: Wait. I am 24 years old, and I can make my own decisions. Besides Mom said it was okay.
Philip: Oh, yeah? Vivian! So you said your daughter could pose in Playboy, huh?
Vivian: No. I said I didn't like the idea. But I also said she's a grown woman, and it's her choice.
Philip: No daughter of mine is posing in that kind of magazine, period.
Hilary: You do this to me all the time, Daddy. I have a mind of my own, and opinions and you never let me express them and... What were we talking about?
Will: Hil, I think you were in the process of storming out of here.
Hilary: Thanks, Will. [scoffs; storms out]

Quote from Will

Jackie: So, what do you think?
Will: Look like you got hat-jacked by Woody Woodpecker.
Jackie: These are the new booster hats. Help me set up a display.
Will: Sure thing, boss lady. Oh, Jackie, check it out. Hypothetical situation: Let's just say, like, a famous men's magazine asked you to pose with nothing but that stupid hat on. Would you do it?
Jackie: No way, I don't want just anybody looking at this body.
Will: Oh, why? Has it changed since we used to play doctor?
Jackie: Stop it.
Will: See, you have beautiful teeth. I didn't even know you had those. That was fun. Imagine how much more fun it would be if we was both naked.

Quote from Will

Jackie: Take it easy, homey. I mean, you asked like a gentleman. So if you can just keep acting like a gentleman maybe we can get somewhere.
Will: Somewhere that we could talk lying down?
Jackie: Will!
Will: All right, Jackie, I'm sorry. A temporary cool breakdown. I'm back now. Look, so when is good for you?
Jackie: I don't know. I was thinking about this afternoon leading into the evening.
Will: Mmm. You know what the evening leads... I'm sorry, I need to have that treated. I'm sorry.
Jackie: I'll call you later. [exit]
Will: Come without the stupid hat, okay? [a woman walks by] Hey, girl, I was... Would you stop it! Stop, stop, stop.

Quote from Will

Geoffrey: So when do we leave for the Mansion?
Will: Oh, they don't need you, G. They're fully staffed.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Look, I'm gonna talk to Mr. Hefner and put a stop to this. My voice will be heard. You must take me with you.
Will: Sure.
Hilary: How can you let him come with us?
Will: Trust me, Hil, he ain't gonna say nothing.
Hilary: Well, how can you be so sure?
Will: Boy gets hot and bothered talking to average-looking girls. Five minutes at the Mansion, he's gonna go into meltdown.

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