Kayla: Anyway Henry V really deals with Shakespeare's most interesting themes.
Geoffrey: I've always favored Romeo and Juliet, which is based on the intellectual superiority of servants over those they serve.

Philip: Geoffrey, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you.
Geoffrey: Mrs. Banks sent me on some errands. That is my job. I am but a lowly servant.
Philip: Geoffrey, it took some doing, but I managed to get you a ticket.
Geoffrey: Thank you sir. I am most grateful. Now I won't have to slash your tires.

Vivian: Geoffrey, since you quit, Philip and I have been doing a lot of talking-
Geoffrey: I might as well tell you right now I won't come back for a penny less than $80 more per week.
Vivian: We'll give you $100 a week.
Geoffrey: Oh, thank you. That's most generous. But there is one more thing.
Vivian: Oh, of course there would be some perks, Geoffrey. An extra week's vacation, alternate weekends off, two nights a week off, and extra help for parties.
Geoffrey: Thank you. But that wasn't it.
Hilary: What do you want? A car? A StairMaster? A fax machine? What?
Philip: I think I know what it is that Geoffrey wants and he deserves it. Geoffrey, I apologize for taking you for granted.
Geoffrey: Thank you, sir. That's all I require. Unless you'd be willing to consider a full-time cook? Preferably Jamaican, with an incredible set of... cookware.
Vivian: You're pushing it, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: It was worth a try. I'll get my things.

Hilary: Ugh, do I have to do everything myself?
Geoffrey: Miss Hilary, the day you do everything for yourself will be the day I square-dance naked on the White House lawn.

Geoffrey: Where is the princess?
Hilary: Here I am. Geoffrey, you have saved my life, as usual. Thank you so much for helping me on your day off.
Geoffrey: Miss Hilary, it will be my pleasure to help you in your hour of need. [to Will] As for you, there is a special place for you in homeboy hell.

Vivian: Marge, girl, you must be tired after your trip. Now, you're staying with us. And I don't want to hear any arguments.
Marge: You aren't getting any. Just tell me where to plug in my eight-track.
Philip: Geoffrey will take your bags up to the guest room.
Marge: I carry my own bag. [to Geoffrey] My brother, you have been oppressed, repressed, and suppressed by capitalism. Don't you know you can be free?
Geoffrey: I have known freedom, don't like the health plan.
Philip: Geoffrey is not oppressed. He's more our friend. Aren't you, Geoff?
Geoffrey: Whatever you say, Phil.

Vivian: I'm sorry, Geoffrey, you better reheat the asparagus. Will's still not here. So, how's the chicken holding up?
Geoffrey: I'm afraid it's drier than happy hour at the Betty Ford Center, madam.

Geoffrey: Your cheesecake, sir.
Philip: Thank you, Geoffrey. Geoffrey, would you get Carlton, please?
Geoffrey: Certainly, sir.
Philip: Thank you.
Geoffrey: Run, Geoffrey. Fetch, Geoffrey. Perhaps you'd like me to catch a Frisbee in my teeth?

Philip: Okay, Geoffrey, let's have it.
Geoffrey: I'm too ashamed to talk about it. It's better if I show you. [goes to the VCR]
Will: You did a porno movie?
Hilary: Ew.
Narrator: [on TV] Montreal, site of the 1976 Olympics where some athletes become heroes to their countries and where one man became the shame of a nation. Geoffrey Butler, a long-distance runner representing Great Britain was descended from a long line of running Butlers. The hopes of a nation were on this promising runner's shoulders. Alas, his best was simply not good enough. Halfway through the race, young Geoffrey Butler hit the wall. But unfortunately, he would not accept his defeat. In this amazing footage shot by Japanese tourist, Hashi Takashi, Geoffrey Butler's unthinkable actions were captured.
Hashi Takashi: [on TV] [speaks Japanese] "He jumped in a cab. It took him to the Olympic Stadium parking lot. He entered the stadium ahead of all the other runners."
Narrator: [on TV] Geoffrey Butler's false victory was short-lived. The Takashi footage was released almost immediately and the public was outraged. Geoffrey Butler dropped from sight, never to be seen again. To his countrymen, he is the shame of a nation.
Geoffrey: That's the shameful secret I have kept inside for 17 years. [all laugh]
Will: Hey, hey. Hey, G, man. Hey, we ain't laughing at you, man. I guess we kind of are. Hey, G, why don't you run into the kitchen and get me something. Or better yet, take a cab.
Geoffrey: Sensitive lot, aren't you?

Vivian: Philip, the important thing is that you and your son spent quality time together. You should be proud of what you built.
Geoffrey: Even if it is a deathtrap.
Philip: You are just jealous because you don't have son like Carlton to build something with.
Geoffrey: Yes, sir, that must be it. Look! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Master Nicky.