Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Mama's Baby, Carlton's Maybe’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Mama's Baby, Carlton's Maybe

305. Mama's Baby, Carlton's Maybe

Aired October 12, 1992

Carlton's ex-girlfriend Cindy (Lark Voorhies) shows up with a baby she says is his.

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: Carlton, why are you wearing a suit? Is Daddy bringing home White people?

Rate

Quote from Will

Will: You know, it's like the Rodney King videotape, you know? I just keep seeing it over, and over, and over again. And I ask myself, where did I fail him, you know? Where did we go wrong? [Philip & Vivian slap Will on the head]

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Your cheesecake, sir.
Philip: Thank you, Geoffrey. Geoffrey, would you get Carlton, please?
Geoffrey: Certainly, sir.
Philip: Thank you.
Geoffrey: Run, Geoffrey. Fetch, Geoffrey. Perhaps you'd like me to catch a Frisbee in my teeth?

Quote from Geoffrey

Ashley: Boy, when Mom and Dad see this, somebody's gonna swing.
Geoffrey: Well, I can assure you, it won't be me. This time, the butler didn't do it, hasn't done it, and I'd be surprised if he even remembered how to do it.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Oh, man, I mean, she can't just walk out on you like that. What if the kid is yours?
Carlton: He's not.
Will: Carlton, come on, just because the baby is cute doesn't mean you're not the father.
Carlton: I never slept with her. Look, since we're in a church, I feel the need to confess something. Please don't laugh. This is really hard for me to say. I'm a... I'm a... [mumbles]
Will: You a German?
Carlton: No. I'm a virgin.
Will: What?
Carlton: I'm a virgin!
Man: It's nice to know somebody still is.
Will: Hey, look, Carlton, man, I mean, I didn't know. I mean, hey, don't feel bad though. I mean, a lot of guys are you know, Germans.

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: Carlton, a father? He won't even let Ken and Barbie sleep in the same shoebox.

Quote from Will

Philip: Whose is that?
Cindy: He's mine.
Vivian: Oh, my goodness. He's adorable. Come here, sweetheart. Oh, my. What's his name?
Cindy: Carlton.
Philip: Oh, my God. Please tell me your father's first name is Carlton.
Will: [imitates buzzer] Sorry, wrong answer. Now, for those of you just tuning in to Name That Father, this little bundle of joy belongs to a young man who's seen Little Mermaid eight times.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Will, I'm really gonna miss her.
Will: Where did she go?
Carlton: Back to her parents. When she called and told them she was going to marry me they came and got her.
Will: Hey, look, Carlton, man, they're wrong about you. You're a great guy, man. Hey, look, come on. Let's go home, so you can get in trouble. And don't worry about it, man. I mean one day the right girl's going to come along and, I mean, you won't be a German forever, you know?
Carlton: Good, 'cause I'm really looking forward to losing my accent.

Quote from Will

Will: You and Cindy? I mean, come on. Hey, the longest relationship Carlton ever had was with last year's Ebony swimsuit issue.
Cindy: This isn't a joke. I mean, doesn't he look just like Carlton?
Will: Well, it looks like they wear the same size.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Philip, I am never wearing a bathing suit again, as long as I live.
Philip: Now, honey, I'm sure the pool man didn't really mistake you for me.
Vivian: He called me Mr. Banks.
Philip: That's still no reason to hold his head underwater, sweetheart.

Quote from Will

Vivian: Cindy.
Cindy: Mr. And Mrs. Banks.
Vivian: Hi, sweetheart. How long has it been?
Will: Well, I'd take a shot in the dark and say around nine months.

Quote from Will

Will: [on the phone] Hey, Mom, guess who? No, it's Will. Will Smith. Hey, yo, Mom, check it out. It is some drama cutting loose out here. No, I'm not in trouble, but, no, check it out. Somebody we know is a grandma. No, no, not you, Mom. Mom. No, Mom. Mom, stop crying. Stop crying. Mom, no, it's not me. It's... Carlton is the father. Stop laughing, Mom. [Uncle Phil walks in] Yeah, that will be a large pepperoni with extra cheese. Right. I love you. [hangs up] Oh, that makes them bring it faster.

Quote from Philip

Philip: [on the phone] Yes, hello. Yeah, don't you dare try to hang up on me. What kind of lowlifes are you throwing a minor out onto the street and endangering a helpless infant? Well, I'm going to do everything I can to see you behind bars. And what do you have to say for yourself? Uh... So when will your mommy and daddy be home?

Quote from Will

Carlton: Here we come, ready or not. Super, huh? Look, matching hats. I never knew having a family could be so neat. I love you.
Cindy: I love you, too.
Will: All right, whoa. I'd like to take this opportunity to bring it to everyone's attention that Uncle Phil's head is about to explode and, for once, it ain't my fault.
Cindy: Well, I think it's time for little Carlton's nap.
Will: Yeah, it smells like you needs to be changed, too.

Quote from Will

Carlton: We're eloping.
Will: What?
Carlton: No, Will, I don't want to hear it. I'm tired of everyone telling me what to do. I love Cindy, and I've made up my mind.
Will: All right, man, fine. Look, whatever you want to do is fine with me.
Carlton: [covering ears] What?
Will: I said, whatever you want to do is fine with me. If you want to marry Cindy, go ahead. Just do me a favor.
Sleep on it tonight. In the morning, if you feel the same way then, whatever you want to do. Deal?
Carlton: Deal.
Will: My man. Oh, give me your car keys.
Carlton: You know, Will, I gave you my word. I'd think that'd be enough.
Will: Yeah, you lucky I ain't going to do you like Kunta Kinte and chop off your foot.

Page 2 


 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode