Eric: And I have an announcement. Donna and I have decided we're not talking about our relationship anymore.
Fez: Hooray!
Kelso: Bravo!
Hyde: Mazel Tov!
Fez: Finally, we'll have some time to talk about things I want to talk about. Number one, cocoa butter. It doesn't taste like cocoa or butter.

Red: Steven. When are you moving out?
Hyde: Soon.
Red: How's your girlfriend?
Hyde: Shallow as hell.
Red: Job?
Hyde: Dead-end.
Red: Future?
Hyde: Bleak.
Red: Kitty, feed the boy.

Bob: Eric is a mental midget. And you know what else? He runs like a girl.
Red: Bob, you run like a girl.
Bob: Only when I'm scared of something.
Pamela: Oh, honey, I'm sure Eric has a good explanation. On the several occasions I didn't show up for one of my weddings, I always called to say I had appendicitis.
Bob: Well, Eric's not here, my little girl's unhappy, and I want to punch somebody.
Kitty: Bob, you don't want to fight. I've known you for a long time, and I know what you really want is a piece of cake.
Bob: A piece of cake, Kitty? My daughter is devastated, and you offer me cake? You just tell me one thing, is it chocolate?
Kitty: Devil's food. I can have it on the table in less than a minute.
Bob: Eh, let's do that, then.

Eric: You know, I can't stop thinking about what Donna's doing. The only reason she's still in Point Place is 'cause of me. If it weren't for me, she'd probably be on the other side of the world by now.
Fez: Hey, I grew up on that side of the world, and it's no picnic. Although when you eat every meal on the ground, I suppose, technically it is a picnic.

Hyde: Red.
Red: Toyota!
[cut to Red and Hyde in the car in the garage:]
Hyde: Did you see that look she just gave us? Was that, "Please don't tell anyone you saw my boobs"? Or, "Please come over and see my boobs again"?
Red: Do you have to keep saying that word? Let's just call them..."them." This is the last time we ever talk about it. From here on out, it never happened.
Hyde: But, Red...
Red: Steven, I have been to war. I have seen a lot of things in my life, and there were only three things that I was gonna keep secret until the day I die. This is number four. And five.

Hyde: Red, what I want to know is, what did Pam mean...
Red: Not here... Toyota.
[cut to Red and Hyde in the car in the garage:]
Red: This is the only place that's safe. Look, if I was a single man, what we saw today would be like a reward for a lifetime of disappointments. But I'm not, so it's just another disappointment.
Hyde: For you, maybe. I saw them. I don't care who knows it.
Red: You better care, 'cause if Kitty finds out, I'm taking you down with me. And when I take people down, they stay down. Just ask North Korea.
Hyde: But I have so many questions. I mean, I've been flashed before, but it was always followed with either, "Get out!" Or, "There's a two-drink minimum." But, "Hi, boys"? It has me reeling. Oh! Maybe she was coming on to us.
Red: She wasn't coming on to us. She was coming on to me. She heard about my war record. I'm a hero.

Bob: Okay, I'd like to thank everyone for coming back here with me. True, it is the place of my greatest humiliation. But the fish is good, the sake's strong, and these Japanese people are funny to watch.
Donna: That's the spirit, Dad. The slightly offensive spirit.

Red: I just think it's pretty suspicious that after we left the Japanese restaurant our Japanese car broke down.

Bob: Wow, I love this place. It's not just dinner. It's a thrill ride, 'cause there's a small chance you're getting knifed.
Red: I don't know, Bob. I've tried to avoid Asians with weapons ever since 7,000 of them tried to kill me.
Kitty: Well... [chuckles] It's thanks to the work of brave men like you that America's enemies are working here for a minimum wage.

Kelso: Okay. I got another invention. Bicycles with engines.
Hyde: That's a motorcycle.
Kelso: Okay, fine. Bicycles without engines.
Hyde: That's a bicycle.
Kelso: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's got the chair on it.
Hyde: And we're back to wheelchair.