Estelle Costanza: Here's your omelet.
Frank Costanza: It's dry.
Estelle Costanza: That's the way I always make it.
Frank Costanza: Well, it sucks.
Estelle Costanza: What did you say?
Frank Costanza: Your meatloaf is mushy, your salmon croquettes are oily and your eggplant parmesan is a disgrace to this house!
Estelle Costanza: Well, that's too bad, because I'm the only one who cooks around here!
Frank Costanza: Not any more! Gimme that spatula! [cracks egg] I'm back, baby!

Estelle Costanza: You can't face the fact that I'm improving myself.
Frank Costanza: You're not the only one improving yourself. I worked out with a dumbbell yesterday. I feel vigorous!

Frank Costanza: I had an affair with a Korean woman.
Elaine: Uh, Mr. Costanza, I …
Frank Costanza: No, I feel I need to unburden myself. I loved her very deeply. But the clash of cultures was too much. Her family would not accept me.
Elaine: Mr. Costanza, I'm...
Frank Costanza: Maybe it was because I refused to take off my shoes. Again, the foot odor problem. Her father would look at me and say... [speaks Korean]. Which means, "this guy - this is not my kind of guy".

Frank Costanza: I got no leg room back here. Move your seat forward.
Estelle Costanza: That's as far as it goes.
Frank Costanza: There's a mechanism. You just pull it, and throw your body weight.
Estelle Costanza: I pulled it. It doesn't go.
Frank Costanza: If you want the leg room, say you want the leg room! Don't blame the mechanism!

George: Dad, the hinges are all rusted here. That's why the wind keeps blowing the door off.
Estelle Costanza: [o.s.] I hate that old door. Throw it out!
Frank Costanza: Serenity now!

Frank Costanza: It's made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.
Kruger: I find your belief system fascinating.

George: So, how was the trip?
Estelle Costanza: Ah, your father...
Frank Costanza: Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a toll booth?

George: I been, uh, thinking about the family. Tell me, uh, about Aunt Baby.
Frank Costanza: [looks to the heavens] She's deceased.
George: Yeah. Um, why did she die so young?
Frank Costanza: [looks to Estelle] She had problems. [Estelle nods] Internal.
George: Is that common in our family?
Estelle Costanza: Well, your uncle Moe, he died a young man.
Frank Costanza: Also internal problems.
Estelle Costanza: It's that temper on your side. They're yelling and yelling and then one day, they're all gone.
Frank Costanza: What about your side? Your cousin Hennie. She was sickly from the moment I met her!
Estelle Costanza: Don't you talk about Hennie!
George: I guess you two are the lucky ones.
Frank Costanza: So far.
Estelle Costanza: Frank, if Aunt Baby were alive today, how old would she be?
Frank Costanza: She'd never make it.

Estelle Costanza: Latvian Orthodox? Why are you doing this?
George: For a woman.
Frank Costanza: A woman? What are you out of your mind?
Estelle Costanza: Why can't you do anything like a normal person?
Frank Costanza: Wait. Is this the group that goes around mutilating squirrels?
George: No, it's a regular religion.
Frank Costanza: I'm calling my lawyer. It might not be too late to get out of this.
George: I don't want to get out of it.
Estelle Costanza: But George, you don't know what you're saying. You're under their control.
Frank Costanza: What, they brainwashed you?
George: No, no.
Frank Costanza: You're not performing any rituals in this house.
Estelle Costanza: Go back to the psychiatrist. I beg you.
Frank Costanza: And stay away from those squirrels!

Frank Costanza: You know what I like about Manhattan? There's no mosquitoes.
George: There's plenty of mosquitoes.
Frank Costanza: Queens is full of mosquitoes.
George: So, Dad-
Frank Costanza: Gnats, too, if I'm not mistaken.