Tim: Well, that finishes our segment on home safety. I hope you learned something.
Al: I know I have. Next time, we'll use a fireproof sign.
Heidi: I'll call our insurance adjuster.
Tim: It's on the speed dial, number eight.
Heidi: Oh, really?

Tim: All right, I shouldn't have invited Lisa on the show without asking you how you felt about it.
Heidi: Tim, I wouldn't have minded if I felt like my work was appreciated.
Tim: Come on, I appreciate your work. You know that.
Heidi: No, I don't. You never say anything about it.
Tim: You're a very important part of Tool Time. You're the one who gets there early every day, sets up all the projects. You're the first one out front with a fire extinguisher.
Heidi: Well, that's called self-defense.

Al: [snores]
Heidi: Does anybody know what time it is?
Jill: 5:00.

Tim: You guys ready for the farewell show?
Al: Yes, sirree! And we're gonna go out on top! We're gonna go out on top and we're gonna segue to new beginnings and brighter tomorrows!
Tim: That's the spirit, Al.
Al: All right! [to Heidi] Oh, I'm a total wreck. I can't believe this is going to be over.
Heidi: Oh, I know. Me either. This is the last time I'm gonna introduce you guys. [to Tim] The last time I'm gonna give you CPR.

Heidi: Well, actually, Scott and I have separated. He moved out a couple weeks ago.
Al: Heidi, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say something about this before?
Heidi: Because I didn't want to bring my personal problems to work.
Tim: Why not?
Heidi: Because you said, "Don't ever bring your personal problems to work."
Tim: Since when do you listen to me?
Heidi: Since you said, "I had better start listening to you."

Heidi: Next, we'll show you how to take out a stud.
Tim: Just buy me a meal baby. We'll do the town together.
Heidi: I don't think so, Tim.

Heidi: You know, at least he's paddling. If everyone was a tube lizard like you, we'd get maytagged.
Tim: "Maytag"? "Tube lizard"? A couple of brochures, what are you, Popeye all of a sudden?

Heidi: Does everybody know what time it is?
Audience: It's "Tool Time"!
Heidi: That's right! Binford Tools is proud to present Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!

[outtake:]
Heidi: Does everybody know what time it is? [audience is silent] OK, there's a little thing we do here. We yell "Tool Time."

Heidi: Does everybody know what time it is?
Audience: Tool Time!
Heidi: That's right. Here he is celebrating his fifth fabulous year - Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor!