Randy: Hi, Brad.
Brad: Don't start with me. I know you're just gonna talk about how great your new room is.
Randy: All I said was "Hi, Brad."
Brad: See? There you go again.
Randy: All right, Brad. You want the basement, you can have it.
Brad: Yeah, right.
Randy: No, no, I'm serious. I'll trade you rooms.
Brad: All right, what did Dad screw up? Is the room tilted? Hey, did the ceiling cave in?

Lucille: I'm taking us to our annual ice-cream breakfast at Leo's Sugar Shack.
Randy: All right.
Lucille: And what restaurant are we going to tell your parents we went to?
Brad: The Healthy Vegetable.
Lucille: Very good. And, Mark, if anybody asks, you had...
Mark: A wheat-germ omelet.
Lucille: Excellent. Brad?
Brad: I had bean turd.
Lucille: That's bean curd.
Brad: Oh. Well, they taste the same.

Brad: Dad, what are you doing?
Tim: Fixing Al's motor. Took me 12 minutes.
Brad: Why are you timing yourself?
Tim: Well, I'm trying to figure out how I can redo all his motors in two days. I've got six people working on 500 motors. 12 minutes a piece. That means they can all be fixed in...
Brad: A lot less time than it'll take you to figure out the answer?

Brad: Well, I'm out of here.
Tim: When you get home tonight, we're gonna block-sand some of the panels on the hot rod.
Brad: You got it.
Tim: Good luck, kid.
Brad: I'm not a kid anymore. I'm a working man. So long, boys. [exits and then returns] Dad, could I get some lunch money?

[Brad keeps reading his brochure as the phone rings]
Tim: Why don't I get that? [answers phone] Hello? Hello, Angela. You want to talk to Brad, huh? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Brad: [takes the phone] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh... Listen, Angela. I know I said I'd be free. But, uh, Rob asked me to do inventory tonight. I don't know. Maybe next weekend. Yeah. All right. Talk to you tomorrow. Bye. [hangs up]
Tim: Let me get this straight. Rather than going out with a beautiful girl, you would rather count shoes.
Brad: It's a chance to really bump up my paycheck. So, Dad, ballpark: How much are you pulling down?
Tim: That's a good question. And if you ever ask me again, you are out of the ballpark!

Tim: Hey, guys. I got the mail. There's a package from Sweden. You know what that means?
Brad: You won the Nobel Prize again?

Jill: Who was that?
Brad: One guy on the team's having people over for Halloween. He wanted to tell me what to bring.
Jill: You know, I don't think that Mark has any plans on Halloween. Could you take him along with you?
Brad: Mom, I'm supposed to bring the chips, not the dip.

Jill: How did your first class go?
Tim: It was great. So much energy. I love school.
Randy: And I think hell just froze over.
Tim: The two hours went by like that. They picked my brain clean.
Brad: What did you do for the other hour and 59 minutes?
Tim: [chuckles] I thought about what I was gonna buy with your allowance.

Jill: Another call for Mark. You know, this band thing is making him really popular. His calls have doubled.
Brad: Yeah, that's two this month.

Brad: I got all the pictures of me and the Mustang.
Tim: Let me take a look at them.
Brad: All right. Oh, here we are at the gas station.
Tim: Yeah.
Brad: Here I am giving it its first oil change.
Tim: Nice.
Brad: Oh, here I am putting on five coats of wax.
Tim: Carnauba?
Brad: Oh, yeah. Oh, here we are just being silly.
Tim: Hey, that's the one with me.
Brad: Yeah.
Tim: Too bad you didn't get a reprint for me.
Brad: Oh, Dad, I am way ahead of you, man. [pulls out a photo frame]