Randy: We made 90 bucks.
Brad: If we made 90 bucks a day, and we worked for seven days, we'd make, like, 200 bucks!
Randy: Brad, your math tutor must be proud.

Tim: Brad, you can't go through life havin' other people do your work for you.
Brad: What about Al? He does your work for you.
Tim: Don't push me, fella.

Tim: All right, listen, what do you think Nana called her when she was little?
Mark: Jill?
Tim: A name that might annoy her.
Brad: Tim. [laughs]
Tim: Back off, all right?

Jill: Did you buy anything that wasn't damaged?
Randy: Yeah, the chicken. We couldn't find any dented ones.
Jill: Why didn't you just throw it up against the wall before you got to the register?
Brad: See, Randy? I told you we should do that.

Mark: Hey, Brad?
Brad: Yeah?
Mark: Can I ask you something?
Brad: What?
Mark: How do you get moved from the back of the class to the front of the class?
Brad: Well, why would you want to go to the front? I don't know if you've noticed, but that's where the teacher is.

Brad: [on the phone] The trick is, I towel-dry my hair first, wait about five minutes, and then I put on the mousse.
Jill: Brad, you've been on the phone for two hours.
Brad: Yeah. I've gotta go. My mom's bugging me again. All right. See ya. Bye. [hangs up]
Jill: You see Ashley all day at school, then you come home and spend all afternoon on the phone. What could you possibly have to say to each other? Your life is not that interesting.
Brad: Maybe not to you. But Ashley can't get enough of my mousse stories.

Brad: Now, I've already traced my design onto a piece of three-quarter-inch clear pine.
Tim: Right. Heidi, the clear pine, please.
Heidi: Here you go, Brad.
Brad: Hank you, Theidi. Um... I mean, thank you, Heidi. [watches her walk away]
Tim: Could we?
Brad: Sorry, Dad.

Brad: And, Mom, I promise I won't fall behind on anything. I'll clean my room, and I'll even practice my saxophone two hours a night.
Jill: You don't do that now.

Jill: Where were you? You were supposed to be back from school an hour ago.
Brad: I stayed late. I just wanted to soak up some extra knowledge.
Jill: By any chance, were you soaking up that extra knowledge in detention?
Brad: Hey. Knowledge is knowledge.

Brad: [phone rings] Hey! Everybody, quiet! Parents alert! [answers phone] Hello? Oh, hi, Mom. Yeah, everything's fine.
Paige: Jason! Stop tickling me!
Brad: [on the phone] No, Mom. That was me. I don't know. Jason's a tickler. Yeah, everything's fine. Have a great time and don't worry about us. All right. Bye. [hangs up]
Bridget: Your parents aren't coming home early?
Brad: No, no. My mom was just calling and asking about my little brother's pus.
Bridget: My Little Brother's Pus. I love that band.