Brad: Check this out. I guess they got this new program where they put cameras at intersections and try to catch drivers who run red lights.
Mark: Whoa, cool angles! They can get the license plate from the back and the driver from the front.
Jill: Let me see that. Gosh! Nobody's gonna be able to pick their nose in the car anymore.
Brad: I think this is outrageous. I mean, it's a blatant invasion of privacy. It's another example of Big Brother taking control and infiltrating every aspect of our lives.
Jill: You just don't want to get a ticket.
Brad: Fricking right!

Brad: Man, I can't believe this!
Tim: Oh, be happy for him. You wouldn't want the prize anyway. Last game they gave away a year's supply of pudding.
Brad: I like pudding.
Announcer: [v.o.] This is the biggest giveaway in the history of Joe Louis Arena.
Tim: He's up on the screen.
Announcer: [v.o.] Wilson Wilson, as the one millionth visitor this season, Bay City Motors would like to present you with this check for $10,000!
Tim: Ten thousand dollars.
Brad: That's a lot of pudding.

Mark: What are you working on?
Jill: Oh, it's just an application for a counseling job in Dearborn. I might go for the PhD, though. But I want to keep my options open.
Brad: Yeah, that's a good idea. I mean, the last thing you want to do is narrow yourself down in your golden years.
Jill: I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
Brad: And yet very soon you won't have to pretend.

Jill: Wilson won $10,000? That's unbelievable.
Tim: No. You know what's unbelievable? I paid for the ticket.
Brad: Want to know what's more unbelievable, is that I gave him my seat.
Jill: He's just gonna keep all that money?
Brad: Yeah. Because Dad told him that guys don't split stuff.
Tim: It's when I thought the prize was pudding!
Brad: I enjoy pudding.

Tim: It's kind of chilly outside. I suggest you wear a hat, son.
Brad: Sorry, Dad, I won't wear the hat. But I would be willing to stop by the barber shop.
Tim: You would?
Brad: Yeah. We can get you that Ringo cut you've always wanted. There's just one problem. We'd have to find a barber old enough to remember who that guy is.

Brad: Hey, guys, get down here. Let's see what Grandma and Grandpa got us for Christmas.
Mark: Hear anything good?
Brad: [shakes box] No, I don't hear anything.
Brad & Randy: Clothes.

Tim: Hey, Brad, can I have a moment with you?
Brad: What?
Tim: Your little brother was underneath that garbage can, smelling it. Where do you get these ideas?
Brad: They just come to me.

Tim: Now we've got to hustle up. We've got to hustle up. Just the ba... Take the knife out of your mouth, please. Just the basics, quick. Tonight's dinner. Do not eat with your hands.
Randy: Well, what if we're having chicken?
Tim: Well, for... Chicken outdoors - use your hands. Chicken indoors - knife and fork.
Brad: What about live chicken?
Tim: A live chicken? Brad, who the hell do you hang out with?

Brad: It's all over school about what Jason Loomis said about your girl hands.
Randy: Oh, no.
Brad: But I stood up for you.
Jill: Good for you, Brad.
Brad: And I got you a little something to make you feel better.
Randy: What is it?
Brad: Passion Pink fingernail polish. [laughs]

Jill: Now, how's your dad doing with all that housecleaning?
Randy: Okay.
Brad: Yeah, okay.
Jill: I don't like the looks of that look. What's going on?
Brad: Uh... nothing.
Randy: Dad's not doing anything.
Jill: What exactly is Dad not doing?
Brad: He's not rewiring the vacuum.