Amy: You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Rachel: Monica is Ross's sister.
Amy: No, Ross' sister was really fat.
Monica: That was me.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in school who used to follow Rachel around like a puppy-
Rachel: Amy, you have got to stop doing that.

Rachel: I cannot believe that I invited you here today.
Amy: Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail?
Rachel: [chuckles] It's 45.
Amy: You bitch.

Amy: Rachel, open up. It's your sister. I have to talk to you.
Ross: Hi, Amy.
Amy: You're not Rachel.
Ross: Still sharp as a tack.

Rachel: So, now, what are you doing here?
Amy: Well, I have huge news.
Rachel: Oh, sorry. Hold on. Let me check on the baby.
Amy: This is important. Can't Ella wait?
Ross: Uh, her name is Emma.
Amy: Why did you change it? Ella was so much prettier.
Ross: What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart.
Amy: Hey, your English is getting better.

Amy: Nana's on the phone.
Rachel: Wow. That's interesting, since she died seven years ago.
Amy: She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
Rachel: [on the phone] Hello? It's our nanny.

Amy: Oh, my God. You're on "Days of our Lives".
Joey: Yeah.
Amy: Wow. They must put a lot of makeup on you.
Joey: Happy Thanksgiving.

Amy: You wanna know why you don't want me to have the baby? Because you don't want me to be happy. You have always been jealous of me.
Rachel: Jealous of what? Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity? Your total disregard for other people's feelings?
Amy: To name a few.

Amy: You know, you've always been like this. You had to have everything, and I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him.
Amy: Oh, come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.

Amy: You just think you're so perfect with your new baby and your small apartment. Well, let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Ross: Too far, Amy. Too far.

Rachel: Take it back!
Amy: No. What are you gonna do? Make me?
Rachel: Hey, man, I work out.
Amy: So do I.
Rachel: I do Pilates.
Amy: I do yoga.
Rachel: Bring it on!