Sarah: Tell me this. Does Jenny Joyce's house really have eight bedrooms?
Orla: Aye. And some of the bedrooms, they have these wee, tiny bathrooms attached to them.
Sarah: Imagine!

Dennis: A present for Protestants. Ah, now, my next "Protestant gift delivery" isn't due to arrive until Wednesday. And as it stands I'm completely out of stock. What, with there being such a high fucking demand for that sort of thing around these parts.
Orla: That's a shame.
Clare: How much for the Subbuteo, Dennis?
Dennis: We'll call it 16 quid.
James: Could we call it £1.76?
Dennis: No, we fucking couldn't.
Erin: How about, we give you the £1.76 and we pay the rest off in instalments?
Clare: Yeah, which would be what? £3.56 over four weeks?
Dennis: Jesus, check out Rain-wain.
Erin: Or you could give us the Subbuteo and then we could work off the debt?
Clare: Yeah, we could do chores and stuff.
Dennis: Chores? What do you think this is, Little House On The Fucking Prairie?
Orla: Do you watch Little House On The Prairie, Dennis?
Dennis: Get out!

Gerry: What I'm saying is, it would be quite a lot of ground for him to cover.
Mary: They're quick on their feet when they want to be, love.
Orla: Or someone might give him a lift.
Erin: Whose side are you on, Orla?

Orla: She really suits being dead, doesn't she?
Erin: What?

Orla: I'm glad Jenny's party was so cracker.
Erin: What?
Orla: I mean, she had everything, a magician, firework display, karaoke machine, Riverdance, wee horse...
Erin: Yeah, OK, Orla.
Orla: And all it did was make me realise I'd still rather just be standing here on the walls with you guys.
Erin: Orla...

Orla: But Erin, Murder, She Wrote is on tonight. You never miss Murder, She Wrote.
Erin: [whispers] Shut up.

Benny: And you're happy with this one?
Orla: Very much so.
Benny: Great. So you need to read this before the vote.
Orla: Is it any good?
Benny: Well, I mean, as peace treaties go...
Orla: Because I've just finished The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and...
Benny: Yeah, it's not as good as that.
Orla: Right.
Benny: There you go. Use it wisely.

Michelle: I can't find anything I like.
Orla: Well, I'm just so torn. I mean, I love my Easter dress, but this is cracker, too. There is just nothing that doesn't suit me.

Erin: Orla, that better not be what I think it is. You better not have brought my diary to school.
Orla: I had to. I'm doing my book report on it.

Clare: [on the phone] Hello?
Erin: Where'd you go?
Clare: I was on the other line.
Erin: Talking to who? Michelle...
Orla: [on the line] Do you want a Pop Tart, Erin?
Erin: No, I'm good, thanks.
Orla: Clare?
Clare: I'm in Strabane.
Orla: And your point is?