Michelle: Let's see. "Suffocation: The Secret Life of a Gay Teenager." It's anonymous. [Orla points to James]
James: It wasn't me.
Erin: No. This was written by a girl. A real life lesbian walks among us.
Orla: I don't really believe in lesbians.

Erin: So, that leaves dog walking and washing a car.
Orla: Is it a Renault Clio?
Erin: No.
Orla: I'll take the dogs.

Michelle: So, not only are we not going to Paris, we are spending our Sunday scrubbing Fionnula's fucking fish hall for free.
Erin: Aye, and she will be back from yoga soon so get a shift on.
Michelle: It is slave labour, Erin.
Orla: It is worse than slave labour. We're not even getting paid.
Erin: Look, mammy had to cut some sort of deal.
James: Would living without fried food really be so bad?
All: Yes!

Gerry: Holy God!
Mary: Jesus Christ.
Orla: Did you not put him in there, Aunt Mary?
Mary: No, no, I did not.

Erin: I'm gonna have to make a stand about this, Mammy.
Mary: Ah no, you won't, Erin.
Erin: The school is trying to erase this young girl's experience, all because she's gay. I mean, what if it were me? What if it were Orla?
Mary: Fine, stick up for the wee lesbian.
Orla: I just don't understand what they eat.

Michelle: You don't have much stuff.
Ms. De Brún: Everything I own can fit into a suitcase. I've never understood why people weigh themselves down with meaningless crap, you know?
Erin: Yeah. God, I just hate possessions so much.
Orla: Does that mean I can have your Sylvanian Family collection?
Erin: Shut up, Orla.

Clare: OK, I'm gonna flush.
Erin: Go for it. Is it working?
James: Of course it's working.
Clare: Is the water rising?!
Erin: Jesus Christ! Why's the water rising, James?
James: I don't know! The water didn't rise in Goodfellas!
Michelle: Fuck! We've clogged it.
Orla: Who has a plunger?
Erin: I'm afraid I left the house without my plunger tonight, Orla.
Orla: Aye, me too. Nightmare, so it is. [all wail]

Erin: How bad do you think it is? Do you think it's, like, grounded bad, or...
Michelle: Run-away-from-home bad.
Erin: Exactly.
Orla: And if it is run-away-from-home-bad, I'm afraid I will need my snorkel back, James.

Orla: [to the police officer] Can I hold your gun?

Michelle: How much longer are we going to be stuck here? This is unbearable.
Erin: It's been a minute, Michelle. Like 60 seconds.
Michelle: I am so fucking bored.
Orla: Oh. I know this really cracker game.
James: Yeah?
Orla: I think of a number and you all have to guess what it is.
Erin: Orla, we're not going to sit here guessing numbers.
Michelle: 7.
James: 21.
Orla: No. No.
Michelle: 88.
Orla: No.
Michelle: 2,035.
Orla: [breathes in] No.