Clare: She can't do this. She simply cannot do this.
Michelle: Well, she's done it, Clare.
Clare: But it's history! She's making us miss history!
Orla: Och, but I really wanted to find out what that Cromwell fella got up to next. I really enjoy him.
Clare: Not history class, Orla! Real history! History being made!
Erin: And Irish people aren't allowed to enjoy Oliver Cromwell, Orla.
Orla: Why?
Michelle: Because he was a fucking arsehole.

Orla: Lesbians really do exist!

Jim: Now, once your tent is erect... [Michelle chortles] ... you'll want to think about where to safely store your food because believe me, girls, you do not want to attract predatory animals into your sleeping area. Bears are particularly vicious.
Erin: Yeah, I'm not sure how many bears there are in Portnoo, though, Jim.
Orla: But there was a cheetah on the beach one time.
Erin: That was a greyhound, Orla.
Orla: I know what I saw.

Orla: That actor there looks so familiar.
Erin: That's you, Orla.

Erin: Take them off, Orla, they're mental.
Orla: They're cracking.
Mary: Are they really suitable, love?
Orla: They won't let you on the disco swing if you don't meet the height restrictions, Aunt Mary. I simply will not risk it.

Erin: Ach, I just love Halloween. It's the one night of the year that Protestants and Catholics set aside their political and religious differences and just come together...
Orla: And fight ghosts.
Erin: No, Orla.

Michelle: Even so, I need her to put a word in with that big Russian ride.
Orla: And I really like the fact she glows in the dark.
James: I'm sorry?
Orla: Because of the radiation they all glow in the dark.
James: Right.

Cathy Maguire: Hello there. Why don't you hop in? Come on now. Don't be shy.
Erin: Help! Stranger! Stranger danger!
Michelle: Jesus Christ, Erin.
Erin: Help! This woman is trying to abduct us!
Clare: Help! Fire! There's a fire!
Michelle: Fire? What the fuck are you on about?
Clare: It gets more attention. I read it somewhere.
Erin: Kidnapper!
Clare: Help! Fire!
Orla: Help! There's a kidnapper on fire!

Clare: We're going to get caught. I just know it.
Michelle: We're not going to get caught, Clare. Because, as far as our Mas are concerned, me, you and James are at Erin's house, and Erin and Orla are round mine.
Orla: But we're not round yours, Michelle. We're on a bus to Belfast.
Michelle: I can't, I cannot explain it to her again, I'm going to scream.

Orla: If we go to Paris, I'd like to meet Nicole.
James: Who is Nicole?
Erin: For God's sake. How many times? It's just an ad. She's not a real person. Neither is Papa.