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Season 3, Episode 6 - Aired May 17, 2022

Erin and friends are desperate to get tickets to see Fatboy Slim perform in Derry on Halloween. Meanwhile, Sarah needs Gerry's help to extricate her from an unexpected entanglement.

Quote from Erin

Clare: It is sort of your fault, James. You tore the tickets up.
Erin: What the hell were you thinking?
James: I don't know. I was high on adrenaline. Anyway, what does it matter? I was never gonna win that fight. The man's the size of a wardrobe.
Erin: But you're English, James. About five of you managed to colonise half the planet, so, you know, we thought you might have something up your sleeve.
James: Well, I didn't.


Quote from Clare

Erin: Why don't you just tell her?
Clare: Because it's pathetic, Erin.
Laurie: Hi, there.
Clare: Hi, I'm a lesbian!
Laurie: Congratulations.
Clare: Thank you.
Laurie: How many of you are there?
Clare: Just me. Just the one lesbian. The rest of them are straight.

Quote from Orla

Erin: Ach, I just love Halloween. It's the one night of the year that Protestants and Catholics set aside their political and religious differences and just come together...
Orla: And fight ghosts.
Erin: No, Orla.

Quote from Aunt Sarah

Sean Coyle: [on radio] Good morning, you're listening to Sean Coyle on BBC Radio Foyle. Let's kick things off with today's phone-in competition. So, with Halloween night less than a week away, we want to know the festival's original name. What did the ancient Celts call Halloween? If you think you know the answer, give us a buzz on 418352.
Aunt Sarah: I tell you who'd know that. Kitty Reilly.
Mary: Really?
Aunt Sarah: Her son's in the ancient Celts.
Mary: Her son plays for Celtic.
Aunt Sarah: Sure, this is what I'm saying.

Quote from Michelle

Michelle: Halloween is class. There's just something about fancy dress that turns an ordinary night out into an absolute free-for-all, riding wise.
James: Beautiful.
Michelle: It really is. Shipquay Street is gonna be a total fucking fiddle fest!

Quote from Sister Michael

Erin: Why can't God just give us a break?
Clare: I don't know, maybe he hates us.
Sister Michael: Don't be ridiculous, girls.
Erin: Sister Michael?
Sister Michael: Of course God doesn't hate you.
Clare: Thank you, Sister.
Sister Michael: You're not interesting enough.
Clare: I see.
Sister Michael: I'd say he'd be ambivalent towards you, at best.
Clare: Right.
Sister Michael: If he even exists.
Erin: What?
Sister Michael: Nothing.

Quote from Sister Michael

Clare: Are you hiring out your clothes?
Sister Michael: Me and the girls do it every Halloween. You can make an absolute fortune.
Erin: Is that allowed?
Sister Michael: It's for a good cause.
Erin: Like a charity thing?
Sister Michael: Like a foreign holiday thing. Good day, ladies.

Quote from Michelle

Presenter: [on TV] And while Fatboy Slim's presence brings excitement...
Erin: I'm sorry, can we just turn this off?
Presenter: also led to heartbreak for a group of local young people. Earlier today we caught up with local teenager Michelle Mallon to hear more.
Clare: What?
Presenter: Michelle, something awful happened to your cousin James recently.
Michelle: [on TV] That's right, Margaret. He was too chicken to come on here and speak about it himself.
James: What's happening?
Michelle: James doesn't have a lot going on. He isn't very bright, he's not much to look at, and there's no easy way to say this... [clears throat] He's also English.
Presenter: I'm so sorry to hear that.
Michelle: Thank you, Margaret.

Quote from Aunt Sarah

Gerry: The thing is, Ciaran, there's been a bit of a misunderstanding, about the engagement.
Ciaran: She's not calling it off, is she?
Joe: Well done, Columbo.
Ciaran: Why? Oh, Christ, she's met someone else, hasn't she?
Gerry: Not exactly. Now, this is going to sound a bit hard to believe, but the fact is, Ciaran, that when you gave her the ring...
[Aunt Sarah walks into the room in her nun costume]
Aunt Sarah: God, Ciaran, are you still here?
Ciaran: Sarah.
Aunt Sarah: I'm awful sorry, Ciaran, are you OK?
Ciaran: Well, it's... it's a lot to take in. Though I suppose you were always spiritual in your own way.
Aunt Sarah: You're not angry with me, Ciaran, are you?
Ciaran: No. How could I be? A calling's a calling.
Aunt Sarah: Happy days.
Ciaran: I'm... I'm going to... I should go. Goodbye, Sarah.
Aunt Sarah: Goodbye, Ciaran, and God bless. [Ciaran whimpers as he walks away] He's looking well on it, isn't he?
Gerry: Stop.

Quote from Aunt Sarah

Mary: Are you engaged to Ciaran, Sarah?
Aunt Sarah: Why do you keep asking that?
Gerry: Because that's an invitation to your engagement party.
Aunt Sarah: Oh, God, aye, so it is. I think I know what's happened there.
Gerry: Do you mind filling the rest of us in?
Aunt Sarah: Well, two Fridays ago, Ciaran came to pick me up from dancercise. I'm gasping, I mean, I've a mouth on me like Gandhi's flip-flop. I tell him you need to stop at the shop and grab me a Calypso, but he says he has a better idea, and he pulls over, and he whips out...
Joe: Whips out what? What does he whip out?
Aunt Sarah: This ring. And he asks me if I'd do him the honour of accepting it.
Mary: And you did?
Aunt Sarah: Well, I knew the stone would restrict me a fair bit, nail polish wise. I mean, red's out for a start.
Mary: Christ almighty.
Aunt Sarah: And I'm wondering if me taking this ring has somehow led Ciaran to think I'd agreed to marry him.
Gerry: I'd say there's a chance it did, yeah.
Aunt Sarah: What a nightmare. I'm not even that into him, to be honest.
Joe: Not your fault, love. These bloody fellas, they only hear what they want to hear.
Mary: You have to tell him, Sarah.
Aunt Sarah: Do you think?
Mary: Yes.
Aunt Sarah: But I don't have to give the ring back, do I?

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