Mary: Oh, and I got you a new suit. I've laid it on the bed, you need to try it on.
Gerry: A new suit?
Mary: Dunnes were having a sale.
Gerry: Even so, it's a lot of fuss for a school reunion, isn't it? I mean, new suits, the Battle of Stalingrad, who are you trying to impress?
Mary: Nobody.
Aunt Sarah: Janette Joyce, formerly O'Shea.
Mary: I am not trying to impress Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea! I couldn't give a shit about Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea!
Gerry: Who's Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea?
Mary: I don't wanna talk about Janette Joyce formerly O'Shea.

Mary: Sweet Jesus.
Erin: [mouth full] Mammy, we can explain.
Mary: Not the Christmas cupboard?
Sarah: They've had the very Tunnock's, Mary.
Mary: Animals, the lot of you!
Erin: We needed energy for our poetry.
Mary: I'll give you energy for your poetry!
Clare: We were just gonna take a handful of chocolate money, Mary. But then one thing led to another.
Mary: What am I supposed to do? I'll have to start from scratch now. And December's only round the corner.
Gerry: It's eight months away, love.

Mary: I just cannot get my head around it.
Gerry: For the love of God, Mary, it's only a bowl.
Mary: Who just gives away their big bowl, Gerry? It doesn't make sense.
Joe: Aye, she's definitely up to something, love.
Sarah: I have always said that Deidre Mallon was a bit fly.
Joe: I'd confront her about it.
Mary: Oh, I intend to.
Gerry: Great! Do that! Then maybe we can lay the whole bloody thing to rest.
Joe: Take that tone with her again and I'll lay you to rest, boyo!

Sarah: Ach, Fionnula, what about you? I thought I could smell vinegar. I am just on my way to meet our Colm here. I'm a nervous wreck. We are doing this interview, you see, for UTV. I'm going to be on UTV, Fionnula.
Mary: Save your breath, Sarah. There'll be no free chips. There will be no chips full stop.
Sarah: Excuse me?
Mary: What do you expect me to do on a Friday, Fionnula? Cook? You expect me to cook?
Fionnula: You could order a pizza.
Orla: Pizza's not as nice.
Mary: No, you are right, Orla. Pizza is not as nice. Maybe you should all have thought about that. Is there nothing we can do?

Joe: Look at this. They're bombing the bridge, apparently.
Mary: No.
Reporter: [on TV] Suspicions were raised when a hijacked van...
Mary: Oh, dear God, no. Does this mean they can't get to school? I've had a whole summer of it, Gerry. She's melting my head.
Gerry: Sure, their bus can go the long way round.

Joe: I'm leaning towards Pete Postlethwaite now.
Mary: It wasn't Pete Postlethwaite, Da. It's never Pete Postlethwaite. Look, this is driving me to distraction. We'll have to go back tonight.
Gerry: It's not in the listings any more.
Mary: What?
Gerry: The cinema's stopped showing it.
Joe: Oh, well done.
Gerry: It's not my fault.
Joe: Ah, sure, nothing ever is.
Mary: What are we meant to do?
Gerry: Wait for them to release it on video.
Mary: I can't, Gerry! I can't go on like this! I need to know!

Mary: Something troubling you, Bridie?
Aunt Bridie: Aye, you could say that. My Eammon has been waiting all night for this song.
Mary: For Rock The Boat? Really?
Aunt Bridie: But your girls pushed him out of the line, and now he has a bruise. Show them the bruise, Eammon.
Eammon: I bruise quite easily.
Aunt Bridie: That's not the point!
Mary: Right. I see. Well, I'm sorry about that, Eammon.
Aunt Bridie: Is that all you have to say?
Mary: I'm not sure what else there is to say, Bridie. Except, maybe, our girls are 16, and Eammon's a 50-year-old man.
Sarah: Look, it's a rough routine, Bridie. You know that going in. You sit down on that floor at your own risk.

Mary: How long are we supposed to go on like this, Gerry?
Gerry: I'm trying my best!
Mary: We've already missed Coronation Street.
Gerry: Well, every cloud, as they say.
Mary: I've warned you before, Gerry. You say another bad word about Coronation Street and you may leave this house and never return.
Sarah: And you'd have my full backing on that, Mary.

Mary: Dip into your trust fund? Of course, no bother at all. Pass us in the phone, I just need to ring the bank. 7654321, that's the account number. The password, what is it again? What was it now? Oh, aye, catch yourself on.

Mary: Now, come on, girls, eat up. You'll need all your energy for the big exam.
Clare: We'll need a miracle for the big exam!
Erin: Mammy... what happened to Toto... it's just hit me so hard. And... I'm worried it might affect my performance.
Mary: Oh, come here, love. Look, if you fail the exam, I promise you, there'll be a nice wee plot out there with your name on it.