Rebecca: Can you believe it? Her first day on the job and Evan's little tart is late. That's because she knows I can't do anything about it because her lover boy is the big boss. Isn't she just the queen of gall?
Cliff: Oh, no, that was Charlemagne's wife, I think. Well, you know, if memory serves, I think her name was Cathy.

Coach: I coached this kid down in Pawtucket in double-A ball, and up here with the Red Sox. He was one of the best Little Leaguers ever to play the game.
Sam: Take it easy, Coach.
Coach: No, I mean it, he was the very best. As sure as the earth is round.
Sam: You don't believe that, Coach.
Coach: Well, you know, I never used to believe it, Sam, until I saw those pictures from the space shuttle.

Frasier: What about you, Norm?
Norm: Well, there was one time, uh, we thought Vera was pregnant, and then it turns out she wasn't.
Frasier: I'm sorry, Norm.
Cliff: You never told me that, buddy.
Norm: Well, it turns out she was lying. She didn't tell me till after the wedding. I must have cried for a week.

Margaret: Oh, Cliff, are you okay?
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Maggie. Thanks.
Margaret: I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I went out and had some pizza and ribs and ice cream and pickles and chocolate.
Carla: [to Sam] Maybe it's Norm's kid.

Woody: I just can't think straight, Sam. I've really blown it with Kelly. Now she's gonna go off and marry one of those worldly European guys for sure.
Rebecca: Woody, nothing like that's going to happen.
Woody: Really, Miss Howe?
Rebecca: No, Woody. Those wealthy European royals aren't good enough for Princess Button Nose and her daddy.
Carla: So, Becks, what's this thing you have against rich people? You're dating a rich guy, and you want to be rich yourself, right?
Rebecca: Yes. And when I'm rich, I will stop hating rich people. And start hating poor people. That's the American way. [high-fives Carla]

Harry: Well, Rebecca, I need to work up the figures, but everything seems to be in good shape. Except for that strange floor deformity.
Rebecca: What floor deformity?
Harry: There seems to be a depression here. It's almost as if this bar stool is sinking right into the earth. I wonder what could cause that.
Norm: Uh, pardon me, pal. You're standing between me and my cheese doodles.

Norm: [enters] Howdy, sports fans.
All: Norm!
Coach: What'll it be, Norm?
Norm: Fame, fortune, fast women.
Coach: Yeah? How about a beer?
Norm: Even better.