Sam: Does anyone know how long it takes to get to Italy from here?
Carla: OK, nobody panic!
Cliff: Sammy, you can make it from here to Italy in 8 hours, 37 minutes, 22 seconds. With a good tail wind.
Sam: Seriously?
Cliff: Well, unless you take the polar route. In which case you run into those convex currents created by the Aurora Borealis.
Carla: You're a roaring bore-ealis.

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: Oh, hey, Mr. Peterson, that's quite a haircut.
Norm: Yeah, well, they're only halfway done, Woody. I got a little thirsty. You know what I mean? Give me a beer.

Lilith: This is a very serious matter, Frasier.
Frasier: Yes, it is serious, Lilith. However, I will refrain from indulging in cliched reactions: rage, the crying, the screaming, the hurling of epithets: Tramp, whore, slut, floozy, bitch, ad infinitum.
Lilith: You did call me slut.
Frasier: Yes, but I didn't call you a tramp, whore, floozy or bitch. I have too much respect for you even though you have been a slut.

Rebecca: Sam, I will never have Mr. Drake. I will never have any man. I will just dry up, crumble into dust and blow away.
Sam: Oh, come on. That doesn't sound like you. That sounds like some lovesick self-pitying, whiny... No, that's you all right.

Norm: [enters] Good afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. What's the story?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer.

Norm: When I was dating Vera, her little sister used to always prance around wearing nothing but a bikini or flimsy little shorts or something. Yeah, she used to sit on my lap, make jokes, whisper in my ear how sexy I was. So I did it. I went ahead and asked her out. She turned me down flat.
Coach: Vera know this?
Norm: Yeah, Coach. She was there at the time. She was really furious.
Cliff: I'll bet she was. I'm surprised she even married you.
Norm: Yeah, well, the ceremony was in progress. Really wasn't much she could do about it.

Rebecca: Oh, I know what Lilith's going through. When I was in high school, I used to date this guy, Corky Pasavak. He was in drama class, but he, but he was still real macho. Anyway, one time he asked me to go to the movies, and when we were walking down the aisle... [voice breaking] we ran into his old girlfriend. I don't even know why I'm telling this story; I mean, I'll just end up... [quavering] getting a lump in my throat, trailing off... [sobbing] and bursting into tears. [wails] Not this time, damn you, not this time! [exits]
Norm: Well, I think that was a new record.