Diane: So only you and the Coach knew about this? Why didn't you let us in on it?
Harry: I didn't think you were bright enough to pull it off.
Diane: I still don't like you.

Diane: Uh, Sam, I think we have to talk in the back room.
Sam: Why?
Diane: Well, it's our weekly seminar on the use of leitmotiv in the "Chanson de Roland".
Sam: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Boy, time really flies by, doesn't it?
Diane: Norman, why don't you join us. Coach?
Coach: Oh, not me, Diane. Thank you, no.
Sam: Oh, come on, Coach, you're the guest speaker.
Coach: Hey, this might be good.

Diane: Andy, what's the matter?
Andy: You kissed him. I saw you.
Diane: Oh, that's all right. I guess it's no secret here. Sam and I have sort of a thing going.
Andy: But I love you... and you said you love me.
Diane: Oh, dear. No, I was speaking as a friend, Andy. If I gave you any other impression, I'm sorry. Really sorry. I do love you, as a friend. OK?
Andy: Sure.
Diane: You're not upset?
Andy: No, no.
Diane: You're not angry with me?
Andy: That's OK. I'll use it in my performance. "Yet she must die else she betray more men."
Diane: Wonderful. That was perfect.
Andy: [to himself] "Put out the light and then put out the light."

Diane: It's wonderful. Really. It is.
Phillip Semenko: Damn it! I've run out of talent.
Diane: Phillip.
Phillip Semenko: I'm worthless. I'm a dog. Stick a knife between my shoulder blades.
Diane: Please. You do this every day.
Phillip Semenko: Today it's different. I've really lost it.
Diane: Is there anything I can do?
Phillip Semenko: Well, there is one thing.
Diane: Well, anything. What?
Phillip Semenko: Let's go to bed.
Diane: You want to... make love?
Phillip Semenko: No, I always take a nap with a blonde in the afternoon.

Diane: Try this for me and see if you don't feel better. I'm putting down my paddle. Join me in this victory, Sam. [Sam puts down his paddle] How do you feel?
Sam: I feel OK. Yeah, as a matter of fact, I feel pretty good.
Diane: Good. Like to buy me a cup of coffee?
Sam: Yeah, you bet. How about that?
Diane: Oh, just one more thing. [serves] I win!
Sam: You're not getting out of here alive.
Diane: Oh, don't be a sore loser.
Sam: You're the one who's going to be sore.
Diane: Ouch!
Sam: That's why they call those paddles.

Diane: What's Frasier doing?
Cliff: Well, he's the new janitor.
Diane: Poor Frasier. I had no idea he'd take it so hard. This is my saddest romantic legacy. But I refuse to hold myself responsible. Do I beg men to fall in love with me?
Sam: I certainly hope not. I'd like to think I was special.

Norm: Poor kid, huh?
Diane: Hmm.
Sam: Oh, wait a second. Was that your meddling "hmm"?
Diane: Oh, Sam, we have to get those two back together. There's nothing sadder than a man who wants his maiden and is denied her. It tears my heart out. [as Frasier sweeps the floor] Frasier. You're getting dirt on my new Joan & Davids.

Diane: Sam, here's your change.
Sam: Oh, thank you.
Diane: Oh, dear.
Sam: What?
Diane: I can't remember whether or not I left my stove on.
Sam: Oh, boy.
Diane: No, it's off.
Sam: A-ha.
Diane: I think. It's off. Of course it's off. It's on. My apartment's on fire. Still...
Sam: Go, go, go, go, go.

Diane: Back again. And you'll all be happy to know that my oven was off.
Sam: Ah!
Diane: But I had left the milk out, so it wasn't a wasted trip.

Diane: But isn't the real heartache knowing that you had the potential to do something and you never tried? Listen to me. Listen to me!
Norm: Do I have another choice?
Diane: I have the potential to be a dancer. I still have a fighting chance to make my dream come true. I'm gonna send my tape to Boston Ballet.
Norm: You know-
Diane: In fact, I am going to drop it in the mail tonight.