Barry: I just saved your life.
Erica: What?
Barry: According to the way of the Samurai, you're my servant until the debt is repaid.
Erica: That's not a thing.
Barry: Oh, it is. It's the Bushido code.
Erica: Well, that sounds like complete Bushido.

ROTC Co-ordinator: Morning, gentlemen. Interested in joining up with ROTC? I need able-bodied leaders with fire in their bellies looking to make a difference.
Barry: That's so weird. I'm an able-bodied person with a fiery belly who's ready to fly your jets and push your envelopes, and play shirtless beach volleyball.
ROTC Co-ordinator: What?
Barry: It's proven to be a nice diversion from the pressures of flight school.
ROTC Co-ordinator: What's your name, son?
Barry: Barry Norman Goldberg. Nickname not yet decided. You'll be amazed by our strength and determination, sir.

Beverly: Oh, about that, I made up some new vocab cards for you to memorize. This should get you the extra points you need to get into Stanford.
Erica: Oh, thanks, Mom. "Scubulence, noun the process of removing scuba equipment from a boat." Weird word.
Beverly: Yeah, weird and real.

Principal Ball: Questions?
Adam: I got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Principal Ball: Well, aren't you nice? I happen to be quite the Fanilow.
Adam: No, it's from a movie. It's what the cool kid does- And he's gone.

Beverly: I am very disappointed in your lies and deceit, mister! [to Murray] Oh, thank God! He's been robbing us blind! Our little baby is a thief.
Murray: He's as bad as the other morons! Maybe even worse.
Beverly: Now we have all our power back and I can go back to being a great mama again.
Murray: Whoo-hoo! I can yell at him again. [laughs] And I'm gonna yell at him but good.
Beverly: I know.

Barry: Admit you're the Cameron.
Adam: My leopard vest and boyish charm say otherwise.
Barry: That's my look. I'm Ferris.
Pops: Enough. I'll be the Camden, then the two of you can be the Fergus.

Murray: I told you not to go off half-cocked like a cowboy, but you had to play by your own rules! That's as much anger as I can muster for something so stupid.