[circle in the Fotohut:]
Kelso: The Fotohut's cool. [laughs] Hyde, your job kicks ass.
Hyde: Yeah. I never thought I'd be a workingman, man. But, man, here I am working for the man. And you know what, man? I like the man.
Leo: Hey, thanks, man. So, my probation officer was sure happy I came by. He even wants to see me for some additional years. He's a good guy.
Jackie: [thumbing through pictures] Ugly, fat, whorey, old whorey, old, four-eyes, ugly, fat.
Kelso: Oh, this one's kinda cute. [Jackie pinches Kelso's arm] I mean, for a fatty. [again] I mean, for a whore? [again] Damn, Jackie! What do you want me to say?
Fez: That's it. I cannot work like this. Anyone who doesn't have to be here must leave.
Kelso: [scoffs] Fez-
Fez: I said, leave.
Hyde: Damn, Fez. You've only been here one day and you're already trying to change everything.
Leo: Yeah. It's like we crossed into some different dimension where we're in some kind of... Fotohut. It's eerie, man.

Hyde: Thanks again, Leo.
Fez: Yes, thank you. You know what would make this outfit perfect? A cockatoo.
Leo: Then we'll get a cockatoo, or three.

Fez: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Rhonda just said she has something special to share with me tomorrow night. It can only mean that we're going to do it! [guys laugh] No, no, no. Listen to me. I need a place to do it - roomy and cheap. Just like my Rhonda.
Leo: You can use the Fotohut, man. I'm always happy to lend it out for deflowering and bar mitzvahs.
Fez: Thank you, Leo. Tomorrow night, Fez becomes a man.
Leo: Oh, so it is a bar mitzvah.

Leo: Well, I'll leave you two with the same advice my father gave me: "Get a job, dopehead."

Fez: Leo, I'm so sorry I hurt you.
Leo: Ah, that's all right, man. I'll be fine. Least I still got it all up here. But that's just good genes, man. My father had a good hairline too.

Fez: So, what do you think?
Leo: I think whatever you're on, I'll take two of 'em.

Eric: [knocks on door] Donna, I have to talk to you. [Leo opens the door] Leo? Have you got Donna in there?
Leo: You know, I didn't think to ask.
Eric: Look, I have to find Donna. Casey's gonna surprise her with the honeymoon suite. And I know Donna. She's not gonna like that kind of surprise. So she'll probably be looking for an out, so I'm here to rescue her. Kind of like Luke did with Leia in Star Wars. You know, "I'm here to rescue you!"
Leo: The other honeymoon suite's across the hall, man. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a game of Twister I gotta stretch for.

Eric: [to video camera] It turns out there is no spare tire. And uh... It's, like, pitch dark out here. [rustling sound] Hello? Hello? Okay, there's definitely someone out there, and I don't know who, but I think it's a pretty safe bet to say that it's probably a convict with a hook for a hand. Hello? Okay, okay, buddy. You come one step closer, I got a tire iron. And I'll just give it to you if you'll go away.
Leo: Hey, dude. What are you doing here, man?
Eric: Leo, what are you doing here?
Leo: It's like the universe wanted us to find each other, man.
Eric: Yeah.
Leo: So, do I know you, man?

Eric: Oh, my God. Leo, that was my last 20 bucks.
Leo: It's okay, man, dinner's on me.
Eric: Oh, thanks, you'll pay?
Leo: No, I mean I got spaghetti sauce all over me.
Eric: Leo, look, be serious, man. What are we gonna do?
Leo: I got it. We'll soak the shirt in club soda.

Eric: I can't believe I'm stuck in a backwoods truck stop with no money. You know, if we don't do something this waitress is just gonna hand us over to these truckers. You know, they're all freaky, sexual deviants. Man, woman, animal, they don't care as long as it's warm.
Leo: Don't worry, man, I've got an idea how we can pay for this dinner.
[circle in the diner's stock room:]
Leo: That was a good idea. Now, how are we gonna pay for dinner?
Waitress: I think this pretty much covers your tab. But if you're interested, dessert's on me.
Leo: In that case, you'd better soak your uniform in club soda.
Eric: You see? What an awesome night. I am partying in the back of a truck stop with a hippie and a waitress, who are now making out. Wow, the fact that I'm here is not slowing them down at all. Good God, woman, you buttered my toast with that hand.