Kitty: Fez, honey, what are you- Did you come for cake?
Fez: No, I... Do you have cake? No, no, no. I came- I came here because I have this... friend.
Kitty: Oh, really? What's his name?
Fez: Name? Uh... Johnny... [looks at table] Table.
Kitty: And what's Johnny Table's problem?
Fez: Well, he and his girlfriend are about to do something very special for the first time.
Kitty: You mean, they're going to engage in...
Fez: Putt-putt. They are going... They're going to putt-putt. And- And- And she has putted around quite a bit. But- But he is a virgin, uh, putter. A- a virgin putter. He has never putted.
Kitty: I see.
Fez: And my friend, uh... Ay.
Kitty: Johnny Table?
Fez: Yes. Um, he cannot talk to Eric or Kelso or Hyde because they make fun of me... him... Johnny... [Kitty points to table] Table. So he's coming to you.
Kitty: Well, honey, you tell Johnny Table to be respectful and wear a condom.
Fez: Thank you, Mrs. Forman. That's good advice. So, um, may I have my piece of cake now? And one for Johnny Table.

Eric: What about her?
Leo: Hey, I know her, man. She's not all there, if you know what I mean.
Hyde: She's a space case, huh?
Leo: No, she's missing a toe.

Bob: Hey, Red, get this. A while back, I'm in my car crying 'cause Midgie was gone, and I kept having to reach into the glove box for tissues.
Kitty: Oh, that's dangerous. One time I had to blow my nose. Nearly hit that cockeyed girl down the street. I could've sworn she was lookin' right at me.
Bob: So I attached a box of tissues to the sun visor, sold the idea for a bundle, and voila. The Weeper Keeper was born.
Red: Oh, God. Are you rich again?
Bob: Yep. [chuckles] I'm back to my I-can-buy-anything-I-want former self. Just picked up two sombreros and a case of Lik-M-Aid.
Kitty: Where are you gonna wear a sombrero, Bob?
Bob: Where won't I wear it?