Hyde: Oh, hey, uh, I can work tomorrow night if you want me to.
Leo: You're not working tomorrow, man. It's your birthday.
Hyde: Yeah, man, my 18th birthday. Otherwise known as the beginning of the end. The black hole, man. It's the death march. Look, if there's a war, I could get drafted.
Leo: If there's a war, I'll see you in Canada.
Hyde: That's not the point, Leo. I mean, there's other stuff too, you know.
Leo: Hey, don't get snippy with me, man.

Eric: You know what, Leo? This is my first truck stop and I love it. It's like... How did you find this golden oasis?
Leo: I woke up in the parking lot once.
Eric: And these truckers, they're like... They seem like great salt-of-the-earth guys, you know? Hey, 10-4, good buddies! Oh, crap, they're looking at me.
Leo: No, they're looking at me, man. Truckers love me. They think I'm Bob Seger.

Leo: Man, am I glad I found you guys. All these houses look alike. Except for that red one on the corner where the clown lives.
Donna: That's a McDonald's.
Leo: Well, whatever his name is, he's funny.

Hyde: Hey, Leo. So, I decided that tomorrow, after I say goodbye to Forman, I'm gonna go to Chicago.
Leo: Hey, loud girl's in Chicago. You should look her up.
Hyde: Good idea. Anyway, what I was thinking is, while I'm gone, you could run the record store. It'd be fun, man, like the old days at The Fotohut. [Leo stares blankly] You know, the film place you used to own?
Leo: Wait. Was it a little blue house in the middle of a parking lot with a drive-up window?
Hyde: Exactly.
Leo: I don't remember that at all, man.

Hyde: Leo, man, glad you're here. I've been really busy.
Leo: Oh, yeah? I guess my "buy one, get one free" flyer is really bringing in the business.
Hyde: That's 'cause you forgot the "buy one" part.
Leo: Oh, no. Well, good thing we're closing early, man 'cause I need you to give me a ride over to my Cousin Larry's.
Hyde: I don't have a car, man.
Leo: You can drive mine, man. I can't drive since my license got suspended.
Hyde: Why? What'd you do?
Leo: Well, I dropped it in some soda, you know? And it just hung there, suspended. And then when I was looking at it, I ran a red light.

Leo: Oh, sure. Drinking looks like fun. And all the cool kids do it. But it leads you down a sad, lonely, confused path, man. You know why they call it beer?
Eric: No. Why?
Leo: I'm just curious, man.

Leo: Boy, being a millionaire is great.
Hyde: Well, at least you put the money to good use. Fun Tart?
Fez: Don't mind if I do. Candy button? I've got a million of them.
Hyde: So, Leo, man, tell us about your Uncle Ed. Why'd he leave you all his money?
Leo: Check it out, man. It's all in this letter he sent me.
Hyde: Your Uncle Ed is Ed McMahon?
Leo: [chuckles] Yeah. Who knew I was Scottish?
Fez: Uh-oh. [grabs candy]

Leo: Hey, Red. Could you give these to your wife, please? And tell her I love her.
Red: I'll give her the message.
Leo: Thank you. [Red closes the door]
Red: Oh, boy! You got a date for the Stoners' Ball.
Kitty: "Roses are red. Violets are blue. Milk, eggs, coffee."

Leo: Hey, dudes.
Hyde: Hey, Leo, man, Huggy Bear called. He wants his suit back.
Leo: Huggy Bear? This is my suit, man.
Fez: So, to what do we owe the fancy pants?
Leo: Great news, man. I inherited a million bucks from my dead uncle.
Hyde: Shut up.
Fez: No way.
Leo: It's true. So, come on. Let's share the wealth. Come on. I'll buy you anything you want.
Hyde: Does that include burgers and nudie mags?
Leo: Include? That's half the budget, man.

Eric: What about her?
Leo: Hey, I know her, man. She's not all there, if you know what I mean.
Hyde: She's a space case, huh?
Leo: No, she's missing a toe.