Kitty: You two were awfully quiet at dinner tonight. Is there anything I should know about?
Red & Hyde: No. [doorbell rings]
Red: I'll get it.
Hyde: Oh, me, too. [opens door]
Pamela: Hi, boys. Oh, Kitty, every time I come to this house I'm amazed by how much you've done with so little. Here. We brought Kahlua.
Kitty: Well, aren't you just an angel sent from after-dinner drink heaven?
Bob: She wanted to get you cookies, but I know how much you like the sauce.

Pamela: Everyone, I want to thank you for making me so welcome. I feel like the only guest at an inexpensive backwoods hotel. [touches Hyde's shoulder] Steven, you're so tense.
Jackie: Of course he's tense, Mom. You're the one who taught me that if your man's not tense when you walk into the room, that means you're doing something wrong.
Hyde: Yeah, that's right. I'm tense because of you. 'Cause you're... too pretty.
Jackie: Aw!
Bob: Oh, Red, I was gonna get you a thank-you gift for helping with the move, but then I figured, nah. So, thanks.
Red: Don't mention it, Bob. Don't mention anything about that day ever again.
Bob: Why? It was a pretty good day. Nothing got broken. Nobody got hurt. You two even got to see Pam topless. [Red and Hyde are silent] Yeah, first time I saw them I was speechless, too.

Pamela: Donna, don't take offense, but a trailer? I think you could do better.
Donna: Oh, that's funny. I was just thinking, so could my dad.
Bob: Hey, watch it, Donna. She's wrong, Pammy. I can't do better than you. I've tried and failed on several occasions.
Pamela: Oh, Bobby. Oh, I think I hear a chicken. I'll be in the car.
Bob: I'll go with you. We're in the honeymoon stage where she doesn't mind if I get handsy.

[As Eric sleeps with Donna in her bed, Bob wakes him up]
Bob: Glad you're back. Here's a bill for the wedding you didn't show up for.
Eric: $6,000?
Bob: Mmm-hmm. I added on a grand for pain and suffering.
Donna: Thanks, Daddy.
Bob: Buy yourself something nice with it. I suggest a new boyfriend. [sprays Eric with water]

Bob: Donna, you got a little something on your face, I got it. [moves Eric away]

Red: Bob, I'll tell you what my gimmick is gonna be. Good service at a fair price.
Bob: Oh, please, leave that stuff to the Japanese.

Midge: Hey, Red. This is going great.
Bob: Ah, yeah, it's going okay. But can you imagine how great it would be going if he'd used the midget catering company I told him about?
Red: Yeah, well, thanks, Bob, for not forcing some cockamamie gimmick down my throat.
Bob: Hey, I'd never do that. [whispers] Kelso, plan's off. Get it out of here.
[Kelso walks in with a chimpanzee wearing a racecar uniform and holding a flag]
Kelso: We got him for three more hours. I'm gonna see if I can teach him how to drive.

Bob: Hey, Fez, check out this nudie calendar. [sees Donna] Uh-oh.
Donna: Is this the calendar Red's giving away? It's just pictures of half-naked girls posing by cars.
Fez: That's a disgrace. I'll dispose of that.
Donna: No, I'll take it.
Bob: We'll never get it back now. It's going in the box with my "naked lady" pen, and my "I Got Crabs in Louisiana" T-shirt.

Donna: Mr. Forman, Mrs. Forman really yelled at me. And I feel bad about what I said on the radio and I'd like to apologize.
Red: Don't worry about it. People have been coming in non-stop since you talked about the calendars.
Donna: I cannot believe all the disgusting perverts in this town... who listen to my show. Hey, pervs, I'm Hot Donna. Dad? You're with the pervs?
Bob: I'm just here to support Red.
Donna: I see that calendar. Put it down.
Bob: No, I won't put it down. You're the kid and I'm the dad, and I will have my fantasy ladies.
Donna: Fine, Dad, but you won't have my respect.
Bob: One more woman who doesn't respect me. That camel's back broke long ago.

Kitty: Now, I could have sworn there was some refried beans right here behind my emergency bourbon.
Red: Kitty, the game's on. I'll dip the chips in Crisco, whatever you got.
Kitty: Oh, jeez.
[Bob holds Kitty by the butt cheeks]
Bob: I got you.
Kitty: I wasn't falling, Bob.
Bob: Oh. Well, then this is awkward.
Kitty: You can let go now, Bob.