Glenn: Again, we're only open for curbside pickup today. There won't be any customers in this store, so we get to go nuts. Deep cleaning! Yay!
Dina: Think about it like it's a storewide cavity search. It's store 1217's turn to spread its cheeks.
Jonah: Or think of it as a deep cleaning. Pretty clear, really.

Dina: You know what? This is nice.
Garrett: Uh, what's nice?
Dina: Just us. Back to being platonic friends. Brian and I back to being a traditional one-on-one. Well, not completely traditional. We're going through batteries like crazy.
Garrett: Mm-hmm.
Dina: I just love how not awkward this all is.
Garrett: Mm-hmm. You know what really makes it not awkward? Saying that.
Dina: Totally. Yeah, same page. Same page. Well, I will see you at our next interaction, friend-o!

Cheyenne: Hey, are the floor cleaners almost ready? We're just pushing that g... [sniffs] Whoa, it reeks of chemicals in here. We should air this out.
Dina: Oh, yeah. Good idea. [sighs in relief] That fresh air feels nice on my face and eyebrows.
Cheyenne: Dina, are you okay?
Dina: [sniffs] Hmm? Oh, I just feel a little lightheaded. I should probably sit down.
Cheyenne: You're already sitting.
Dina: What?
Cheyenne: Oh. I think maybe you got a little high from the fumes.
Dina: Wait, could you repeat that, but slower? I think I might be a little... Oh, no.

Sandra: Dina. Can you help us with this? We can't figure out how to use it.
Cheyenne: It's okay.
Dina: Okay, first of all, I would like to thank you for starting a conversation with me. Um, you asked me a question, which means now... it's my turn to answer it, so... You just grip it firmly. Almost as though the scrubber is an extension of your arms. Kind of like you got two long, industrial cleaning arms. [chuckles] Not that I think that those are my actual arms. I know I have normal arms. Just a couple of flesh tubes, filled with blood.
Tony: Yo, are you high right now?
Dina: What did you just say to me?!
Cheyenne: Uh, so you guys know the arm thing now, and you can take it from here. ["Garfield" floats by]
Dina: [whispers] We gotta go. I think I'm starting to hallucinate.
Cheyenne: No, it's... [Dina runs off] Dina.

Glenn: How are we still only averaging two stars? We've only got one five-star review. "The store was completely out of baby wipes, but an employee ran to the back and found the last box for me."
Dina: Elias. He's always hoarding wipes in the back for himself. I've begged his wife to get a bidet.

Glenn: But don't you think it's weird that he got five stars for that?
Dina: I guess it kind of makes sense. I mean, the customer had an issue, and the employee went above and beyond to solve it. I think that makes more of an impression than when everything's just fine.
Glenn: Huh.
Dina: We need to start making problems for our customers.
Glenn: What?
Dina: We cause the problems so that we can swoop in, solve them, and get a higher score.
Glenn: 'Cause problems for our customers? Come on. Isn't that how Stalin got his start?
Dina: Yeah, you're right. We should probably just, take the I, let Jeff fire us in disgrace, see if Hudson News has any openings.
Glenn: Ah. All right. Let's do it. I guess. I think.

Dina: Okay, guys, it's simple. Hide popular items in the back. Then, when people ask for them, you can "find the last one." Take away the shopping baskets, but offer to carry their stuff for them. Let's also shut down the customer bathrooms. We'll let them use the employee bathroom, and they'll feel like kings.
Marcus: Oh, I'll do it. Linchpin of the operation. In your face, Garrett!

Jeff: Hey, I just checked the numbers. Your score went up. You're even beating Fenton. Keep it up!
Dina: We did it!
Glenn: You hear that?
Dina: We freakin' did it.
Glenn: It worked!
Dina: Sorry, Fenton, guess you're gonna have to stick to your other distinction... Most prostitutes killed in your parking lot.

Glenn: You know, I bet they officially congratulate us. Maybe even something laminated.
Dina: Oh, that baby's going right on the wall next to asbestos warning, for sure.

Jeff: So the store will be closed for a few days to repair all the water damage. That's not good for quarterly numbers! Not to mention all the customer complaints we're getting about being splashed with "pee-pee water." And most are negative! Some people were into it.
Dina: Mm. What a mess, huh? We don't even really know what happened, but it did start in the customer bathroom, so talk to them about their diet, I guess?
Jeff: So I should tell corporate that their plumbing got wrecked because a customer ate and pooped out a whole salami and a complete set of shot glasses?
Dina: Hey, things can come out of your butt that didn't start in your mouth.