Twyla: Hi, I'm Twyla. I'll be your waitress today. Anyway, I read about you guys, and everything you've gone through, it sounds super crappy.
Johnny: Super crappy?
Twyla: I had a second cousin in Elmdale who did telemarketing, he made a ton of money. It turns out his entire business was illegal, and he lost everything.
Johnny: Hm. Not quite the same.
Twyla: Yeah, no, he went to prison, which is terrible, but... But he is learning Spanish, "No mas, le duele!" I think it means, "Stop, it hurts."
Moira: Oh, wonderful anecdote. Could you give us a moment please?

Twyla: Between you and me, I know how hard it can be to pay off debt. My Uncle Ken only has three fingers now, which is too bad, because he's deaf, and he only speaks using sign language, but he made his choices.

Twyla: Just so you're aware, Mr. Rose, the special is cream of mushroom soup. We don't actually have to-go containers for that, so I've just double-bagged it. Would you like a spoon or a straw?

Alexis: So what's going on over there?
Twyla: I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt.
Alexis: Oh! Is it his birthday or something?
Twyla: No. Um, my dad always said, "When in doubt, say it with a song." He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order.

Twyla: Hey. Have we decided?
Moira: Just coffee, please.
Johnny: Uh, Twyla, do you get along with your parents?
Twyla: I did. It's a little different now. My mom has this thing where half the time she thinks I'm her cousin Angela. And it's getting harder and harder to coordinate visitation times with my dad in prison.
Johnny: I'm sorry I asked.
Twyla: Oh, that's okay! I'll get you your coffees.

Twyla: I can't believe it. I mean, I literally saw her walk past the cafe yesterday.
Gwen: I know.
Twyla: And again, you know my thing with ghosts? But she didn't seem angry like the other ones.

Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.

Alexis: Hey, Twy. Um, Twy, what is in the "Meadow Harvest" smoothie?
Twyla: Uh you know, it changes every day. Just depends on my mood. But it's all organic, earthy ingredients.
Alexis: Okay, so it's like fruity or..?
Twyla: Yes, it is. Yup. At times. And then other times, not.
Alexis: Okay! Well, today, is it more fruity or more vegetably?
Twyla: No, I don't know. I've gotta check in the back and see what we have.
Alexis: So Meadow Harvest doesn't refer to anything in particular.
Twyla: No, Meadow Harvest is exactly how it sounds. It just changes everyday.

Jocelyn: Sorry, gals. I just got caught up on the phone. I have good news and, and some bad news.
Twyla: Oh. Is the bad news that there is no good news? My aunt used to play this game with me a lot.

Alexis: Um, so where did you learn how to tell fortunes, Twy?
Twyla: Oh, one of my mom's ex-boyfriends was a magician, and a gambling addict. But he was also really good at reading tarot cards. He predicted when he was going to leave my mom, like, to the day.