David: I don't know why I'm feeling this like deep, aching sense of dread.
Alexis: David, I'm more than capable of looking after your store while you and Stevie work the flea market.
David: Why did Patrick have to book today of all days for his tax seminar? Like who voluntarily goes to a tax seminar?
Stevie: Maybe the kinds of people who want to keep their businesses?

David: Okay, I'm sorry. I should never have told you before the show.
Stevie: Here.
David: What is this?
Stevie: Patrick asked for my blessing a few weeks ago, so I had them made. It would've been nice if he told me when it was happening, I literally could've picked these up any other day this week, but I will yell at him later. I assume you two will be moving in together, and I won't be there to give you towels when you need them, so...
David: Thank you. I appreciate the monogramming, and the choice of thread colour.

Stevie: Well, you guys are together, like, all the time now, so who needs this, right?
Johnny: Well, that's true. But, this happens to be one of the only possessions that wasn't sold off.
Stevie: Really? You'd think there'd be more of a market for oversized paintings of other people's families. Why does it seem like Mrs. Roses eyes are following me?
Johnny: Oh, she paid extra for that.

Stevie: Now is this look comfortable for you, or uncomfortable?
David: Uh, you dress for the job you want.
Stevie: So you wanna be a youth pastor?
David: Hi. Wow. While, that joke was surprisingly sharp, these are Patrick's clothes. So, you might wanna tell that to my fiancé's face.

Alexis: Um, but some of them are from people who are trying to point out things like, you don't even have a website.
Stevie: We have a website.
Alexis: No. I looked it up, and it's just like a cartoon of a construction worker holding a sign that says "We'll be right back".
Stevie: So. It's under construction. And the phone booking system works just fine.
Alexis: Um, actually the phone booking system is confusing, and the woman's voice was aggressive and off-putting.
Stevie: I had strep at the time.

Stevie: What about Sarah? She's cute and speaks English. Hmm?
David: Mm. She get it?
Stevie: Get what?
David: Like "get it" get it. It, like the vibe. Understand that games night needs to run a certain way, otherwise it won't work.
Stevie: Can I be on your team? You sound really fun.

David: Um, well, first, I'd like to apologize for everything I've said since coming in here today.
Stevie: Why, you didn't kill her.
David: I take it you weren't very close.
Stevie: I actually really liked her. I mean, she was a mess, but I liked her. That's probably why I liked her.

Stevie: So how long before I can return this?
David: Oh, it's exchange or store credit only.
Stevie: That's funny.
David: I'm not joking.
Stevie: Well, I guess you're buying drinks tonight.
David: I can do that, that's fair.
Stevie: And dinner.
David: Okay.
Stevie: And if I feel like dessert-
David: It's a $12 dollar negligee on a 2-for-1 promotion, so...

Stevie: Okay, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you were probably surrounding yourself with the wrong people, and we both know that Patrick is not that kind of person. Also, I know everything about you, about your history, your family, and I'm still here.
David: I think you're my best friend.
Stevie: You think? [tuts]
David: Well, I can't know for sure, because I'm realizing now that I don't think I've ever really had one.
Stevie: Okay, well, if we're being honest, I don't think I've ever had one, either.

Johnny: What about suites? Do you have a couple of suites?
Roland: This guy!
Stevie: Um... No, this is a motel, so we cater more to off road truckers and drunk teenagers.