Stevie: Are these all your clothes?
David: Yeah.
Stevie: What's this, then?
David: That's a sweater.
Stevie: It's one chromosome away from a crocheted blanket.

Stevie: I was joking. I have a strong feeling that would not be your thing.
David: And what do think "my thing" is exactly?
Stevie: High thread count sheets? Colognes that smell like fireplace-
David: Okay. Well, it might surprise you to know that I have more than one thing, so I will happily go with you on the hunt!

David: So you and Grant. How are things going?
Stevie: Uh, well, he asked me out for dinner tonight, so we're gonna do that. We're gonna go for dinner, Grant and I.
David: Yeah. Yeah, that's- Well, he seems like a really like respectable guy. Like one of those guys that has like a candy bowl of condoms on his bedside table or something.
Stevie: Oh, hope so. Wonder what colour I'll get.

Stevie: Did you ask him why he's been wandering around with a notepad, it's really starting to creep out the guests.
Johnny: Yeah, he's pitching a guy he knows to help out around the motel, but don't worry, I told him that we're a well oiled machine at this point.
Stevie: Yeah, that I've been greasing. Your new policy about helping the guests with the bags.
Johnny: Yeah, and you know, we're getting very good feedback about that on the comment cards.
Stevie: But I've been the one carrying them, because "somebody" has a bad back.
Johnny: Well, Stevie, if I lift a roll of toilet paper, you know, it flares up.
Stevie: Okay well, I'm starting to look like a Slovakian shot putter, so I'm with Roland. We're gonna be hiring someone else.

Stevie: Here's the thing. Um, I'm sorry that you and your sister are in a domestic, and I'm sorry that I invited Eric. That joke was funnier in theory.
David: Bad joke.
Stevie: But I'm gonna need you to come back in there.
David: Why?
Stevie: Because I don't really like most of those people and, believe it or not, we are in the middle of a very intense game of drunken charades and my team is losing. Badly.
David: Well, that's not really my thing.
Stevie: It's not my thing either, but you were right, we're way too similar and I am having a very hard time losing, so I will happily let you get back to this big queen bed if you'll just help us win a few more rounds. Just need somebody sober.