Winston: Guys, this has been fun, but... it's time to go start my pre-date regimen. [sings to "Party Rock Anthem"] Body wash is in the house tonight!
Schmidt: Ugh, that jacket! What are you and Aly doing tonight... going to a Sinbad stand-up special?
Winston: I'm gonna go pick up my colorblind glasses from USC. I'm a part of a study. Now, these glasses allow a colorblind person to see color. If they don't work, I get $25. If they do work, they're gonna take a bunch of my bone marrow.

Winston: And to us going on dates at the same time... [Nick laughs] ...leading to a high probability that we'll all be doing it at the same time.
Nick: I'm not cheersing that, man. Stop.
Schmidt: I think it's nice.
Winston: Yeah, it'll be like one big orgy, but, you know, we're spaced out.
Schmidt: Never mind. I retract my support.

Winston: I'm touching purple.
Aly: Oh, don't cry. No, don't cry, baby.
Winston: [crying] [gasps] Are my socks blue? Blue.
Aly: Your socks are blue.
Winston: I hate blue so much!
Aly: Calm down, baby. Okay. Okay.
Winston: Aah! Some more blue! Get that...
Aly: Just calm down. Do you want me to find you something brown to look at? Would that be soothing?
Winston: I just think I need to... I just need to take it slow.
Aly: I am right here with you. Why don't we go sit on the couch?
Winston: Baby, what color is that couch gonna be?
Aly: Oh, don't make that a whole thing.
Winston: [screaming] Oh, I did not solve this Rubik's Cube.

Winston: No, I can't go out looking like this. I can't stay in looking like this.
Aly: Uh...
Winston: What?! No! You seeing this?! I ain't got no sense of fashion. You weren't gonna tell me?
Aly: I did, many times.
Winston: Then why didn't you leave me?!
Aly: I did, when you bought those banana-yellow bird pants, but I came back because I love you just a little more than I hate those pants. [Winston chuckles] Why-why are you taking them off?
Winston: I just missed seeing your face with my own eyes. Look, I know there's a lot of beautiful things that I have not seen, but nothing in this world will make me take my eyes off of you.
Aly: Why are you so... sweet to me? [Winston chuckles] Mm. But we only have these for a few more hours, and I want you to see as much as you can, babe. All right, what's next?
Winston: I want to see some classic movies in color: Citizen Kane, Schindler's List...
Aly: Ooh, I got bad news for you. [chuckles]

Schmidt: Look, we want to make it up to you, so if there's anything that we can do, please just l-let us know.
Nick: Our marriage is cursed.
Schmidt: Wh-What do you mean, cursed?
Nick: Last night I seduced Jess at the, uh, rehearsal dinner. I dangled my hot body in front of her, and she couldn't resist, and we had a night of weird, wild sex that would have made the good Lord proud, and now our marriage is cursed.
Winston: Come on, man. None of that stuff is true. Curses aren't real.
Nick: Yeah, but you believe in crystals, Winston.
Winston: Crystals are real, dude. Don't say nothing bad about crystals!

Schmidt: Please tell me one of you goons is sober enough to drive this circus to the hospital.
Nick: Not me. I've been drinking all day.
Jess: I only have one working eye!
Russell: Well, I'll take you to the hospital.
Winston: Thank you. Thank you so much.
Aly: Great!
Winston: Uh, we'll beat you up after the baby is born.
Aly: Why would you say that? Babe, why is your crystal out? Were you fighting?

Winston: Everybody meet Dan Bill Bishop.
Jess: Oh. Daniel William?
Winston: Nah, Dan Bill.
Schmidt: Uh, is Bill the middle name?
Winston: Nah. Dan Bill. Dan Bill Bishop.
Cece: Family name or...?
Winston: Nah, it's Dan Bill.
Aly: Oh. Tell them you're kidding.
Winston: I'm not kidding. It's Dan Bill Bishop.
Aly: What?
Winston: I'm not joking. It's Dan Bill Bishop.
Aly: We're gonna talk about this.
Winston: You were sleeping. I made an executive decision.

Winston: Cool. Anyway, uh, I'm taking off. Hey, let me know when you have the housewarming for your new place. I'll bring the succulents.
Cece: You never brought us succulents. We love succulents.
Winston: Ah, you got me. I don't know what a succulent is. I just said that so I can get the hell out of here. [ chuckles] But I really do got to get going. It's my turn to nurse the baby.
Schmidt: How does he...
Cece: It's a whole thing.

Winston: Ah, we had some times here. Mmm. I mean this, right here, right where I'm sitting, is the exact spot that I realized: I should have less salt in my diet.
[flashback to Winston alone on the couch:]
Winston: I should have less salt in my diet.
[present:]
Nick: That's beautiful, man. Stay healthy, baby.
Schmidt: Good memories.

Winston: And right over there is where Cece and I had our first mess around.
Cece: What? Don't tell them.
Winston: It's time for the mess around to become the confess around.