Pepper: Ohh! I like this! It's a lot better than what was here before.
Mitchell: Uh, our kitchen was there before.
Pepper: [chuckles] Am I being unclear?

Cameron: Okay, well, Lionel, don't you look sharp?
Lionel: It's Burberry from Harrods in London. Right?
Pepper: Ohh, you wonderful child. You won't need those flashcards much longer.

Ronaldo: Here, for Lionel's stay: some snacks, toiletries, a design magazine you two could also flip through.
Mitchell: Okay, so, Lionel, uh, we have you set up here in the den. That's where the TV is, and Cam tells me that we have a sports package.
Lionel: That's okay. I should practice my cursive. Pepper says penmanship is a lost art.
Pepper: Yes. As are thank-you notes, which is why we can only assume you enjoyed our anniversary gift.

Mitchell: Anyway, um, part of parenting is exposing your children to things that you value. You know, art and culture and good food.
Ronaldo: That's exactly what we're doing.
Cameron: But it's also about letting them figure out who they are, doing things that they want to do even though you don't like 'em.
Mitchell: Yeah, he's a kid. He doesn't want opera at bedtime and caviar on his eggs. He... He wants to play ball and eat Cheetos.
Pepper: Well, I did see him spit some sashimi into a napkin, but I hoped he was just worried about his weight.

Lionel: Just so you know, I don't care about kickball or Popsicles or any of that stuff. I like how we live.
Pepper: You do?
Ronaldo: Lionel, don't feel pressured to say that if you don't mean it.
Lionel: I mean it. Backgammon in the study, cheese from France, not a cheetah in sunglasses.
Pepper: Lionel, you're melting my heart.
Ronaldo: Mine, too, you perfect boy.

Pepper: So, here I am on an ordinary day in my new house everyone hates me for and I'm walking and I'm kvelling... And we're panting and we're schvitzing... And we're laughing and we're crying... And we're thinking.
[whispering] And I'm putting.
Phil: [whispering] So, you have an entire wardrobe in your car?
Pepper: Shh! ♪ And I'm playing and I'm singing ♪ ♪ And they're loving it ♪

Phil: Don't you believe that I like you, though, Pepper?
Pepper: I want to, but maybe I'm just a big, fat mother's purse to you.
Phil: I'm your friend, Pepper.
Pepper: [gasps] What are you doing? This is a yellow suit!
Phil: ♪ Till the end, Pepper ♪
Pepper: You're making a scene! ♪ I know that old line ♪ ♪ But as soon as I sign, he'll toss me aside like ♪ ♪ Yesterday's wine ♪
Phil: ♪ My heart's on my sleeve ♪
Pepper: ♪ I want to believe ♪ This is weird. We're people!

Phil: Look. The only way you're ever gonna find out if we're friends is if you buy that house and see if I stick around.
Pepper: Seems like an expensive experiment.
Phil: Sign the offer, if you love the house. Either that or fire me. It's the only way you're gonna know.
Pepper: [signs My heart is in your...
Phil: I'll see you.
Pepper: I knew it. Assassin!
Phil: [laughing] I'm messing with you. That's what I do with my friends.
Pepper: [laughing] Oh. I see. Delightful. I'm new at straight chummery.