Mitchell: I guess w-when I look at things from your point of view, I... I made a promise. When your dad needs you to take over the farm, I'm in.
Cameron: Mitchell, that means so much to me, and you're gonna love it. The fresh air, and there's no traffic. Oh, and with a second lawyer in town, we could reopen the courthouse. H-Have you ever milked a goat? Have you ever had fresh milk right from the spigot? Oh, unbelievable. You do have to be careful of snakes and mice and rats. There's a ton of field mice. They scare me. One ran up my sleeve one time when I was a kid.

Cameron: [aside to camera] We both believe that animals should play a big part in Lily's life. Having grown up on a farm, I was surrounded by them. They were more like brothers and sisters than just, you know, livestock.
Mitchell: Delicious brothers and sisters.
Cameron: Life on a farm. They know what they're getting into.
Mitchell: Eesh.

Barb: Want to ring the dinner bell, "little bomber"?
Mitchell: Oh, that's actually really quaint. Is it one of those little triangle thi-
Cameron: [shouting] S-o-o-o-ooey! Hoo! [pigs squeal]
Barb: Loudest call in the tri-county area.

Cameron: We just want to know why you called Tom a weirdo back at the house.
Lily: I don't know.
Mitchell: Okay, well, we don't make fun of people who are different, okay?
Cameron: You know how hard it was for Daddy and me? Growing up in Missouri, I was so mistreated that one of my best friends was an old scarecrow I found in the creek.
Mitchell: Some of your stories would be more impactful with fewer details.

Mitchell: Instead of hiding all this stuff, why don't you just tell Pam we're getting married?
Cameron: I will, when she's ready. Carefully and preferably in a large, open field.
Mitchell: She's your sister, not The Hulk.
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: My big sister, Pam, is emotionally fragile and she's still single, so when she finds out I'm getting married before she is. Whoo! Look out. She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.
Mitchell: Because that's when they wake up?
Cameron: Yep. That's morning time for a barn owl.

Mitchell: Oh, honey, you look exhausted.
Pam: [sighs] The baby didn't sleep again last night. I'll tell you, I haven't been this out of sorts since that twister lifted up our house.
Cameron: Told ya.
Pam: That wind was so strong it shucked all our corn.

Mitchell: What do you even say to someone in a coma?
Cameron: Well, Mama's reading her poetry. Lily's reciting scripture. Pam and I are gonna sing a song we wrote when we were younger, "Sweet Home Ala-gramma."
Mitchell: Okay, yeah, t-teach me that.
Cameron: Oh, I'm sorry. Is she your Ala-gramma?

Mitchell: The security camera. We can... We can find out exactly what happened.
Cameron: Oh, yeah. I... forgot about that. Mitchell, Mitchell, wait, wait. You're not used to the harsh realities of farm life. All these animals, they seem so sweet, but it's a bloodbath at the first sign of weakness, like dinner with our friends when one person gets up from the table.

Cameron: Okay. I get it. So how long have I been embarrassing you with my stories?
Mitchell: No, no, no, no. You don't embarrass me. I love your stories, okay? The tractor in the swimming hole? Aunt Betty's wiglet on the piglet?
Cameron: Uncle Carl said she couldn't tell 'em apart.
Mitchell: See? Those are funny. You have so many great ones.
Cameron: Well, that's farm life. Rain or shine, there's always a bumper crop of stories.

Alex: So, just because I'm curious...
Cameron: Yeah, it's a livestock train, but people ride it, too. But don't worry, we're in first class with the show hogs.