Songs of How I Met Your Mother
A collection of quotes featuring musical moments from How I Met Your Mother including "Sandcastles in the Sand", "Nothin' Suits Me Like a Suit" and "Night Night Little Marvin".
Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]
[Robin plays the video:]
Robin Sparkles: I know, how about I sing you a song! [singing] Let's go the mall everybody! Come on, Jessica. Come on, Tori.
Robin: I was a teenage pop star in Canada.
Robin Sparkles: Put on your jelly bracelets And your cool graffiti coat. At the mall, having fun Is what it's all about.
Lily: This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
Marshall: That's you?
Robin: Yes. I had one minor hit. I had to go all over Canada and sing this song in malls. For a whole year I lived off of Orange Juliuses and Wetzel's Pretzels.
Robin Sparkles: Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today.
Marshall: This is the 90's. Why does it look like 1986?
Robin: The 80's didn't come to Canada till like '93.
Ted: Oh, check it out. We worked out a theme song for Puzzles.
Kevin: While I was carrying 100-pound kegs up four flights of stairs? Awesome.
[Ted plays the piano as he and Barney sing:]
Ted: Puzzles is a place where people go To feel like they belong
Barney: Gonna take advantage of dumb drunk girls
Ted: No, we're not. That would be wrong A place where wit and wisdom bloom
Barney: A place to bang chicks in Ted's room
Ted: Not gonna happen.
Barney: We'll talk about it.
Both: At Puzzles, we all fit together
Kevin: And I'm the bartender!
Robin Sparkles: [singing on video] Everybody come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, [laughs] today!
Barney: Did you have to laugh like that every time?
Robin Sparkles: There's this boy I like. Met him at the food court. He's got hair like Gretzky and he does jumps on his skateboard. I hope he asks me out. Take me to my favorite spot. It'll be just him and me.
Robot: But don't forget the robot.
Marshall: The robot! Hey!
[Marshall and Robin high five]
Robin Sparkles: But, baby, I don't wanna wait.
Ted: No, she doesn't wanna wait.
Robin Sparkles: I'm gonna rock your body anyway. I'm going to rock your body 'til Canada Day. Everybody, come and play. Throw every last care away. Let's go to the mall, today! Today, today, today, today. Let's go to the mall (today). Let's go to the mall (today)...
[Robin Sparkles, "Sandcastles in the Sand". Make It Sparkle. Dominant Records]
Robin: [singing] Met you at the mall. Didn't know how far ... My friends said I was a fool. You're a fool. [Shut up]. 'Cause you were a fool and got kicked out of school. [You're so rad.] Together we were gonna travel the globe. From Alberta to Ontario. And now I'm building sandcastles in the sand. [Sandcastles in the sand] Though I could fly when you held my hand. Thought I could fly [But now] Eternity returns to black and white. It was the greatest weekend and a half of my life. We used to go to the beach. On our favorite bench. We'd sit and talk and you taught me to French.
Marshall: That's three! Thanks, baby, you're the best. And as a special, added bonus, I've composed a song just for this occasion. Ted, lights!
[Marshall starts playing the piano]
Marshall: [singing] What is this feelin' that's put you in your place A hot, red burnin' on the side of your face you feel the blood rush to your cheek. Tears start to fill your eyes and your lips are tremblin' but you can't speak, you're tryin', Oh, you're tryin' not to cry! You just got slapped [Barney adds "Oh, oh"] Across the face, my friend [Barney adds "Oh, oh, oh"] You just got slapped. Yes, that really just happened. Everybody saw it and everybody laughed and clapped, it was awesome. Wait, you just got... slapped. Happy Slapsgiving, everybody.
Ted: Leave it to me. I'll plan the whole thing.
Barney: You're gonna plan the whole thing? I bet it'll be all gooey and romantic, huh?
Ted: Gooey and romantic? Gooey and romantic? Barney. [singing] You don't have to take her to Paris or Peru
Barney: Uh, Ted, what are you doing?
Ted: [singing] You just have to make her understand
Barney: Ted, people are looking at us.
Ted: [singing] What she means to you
Barney: Oh, God, really? You're really gonna do this right now?
Ted: [singing] On your superdate Troubles of the world will simply have to wait For wonders and amazement
served up on a silver plate Hurry up now, don't be late Because hand in hand You'll find a land Where paradise awaits [talking] And then, boom! Fireworks over the Manhattan skyline, you kiss her... [singing] And that's your super date.
Barney: That sounds gooey and romantic.
[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Her record producer, Chuck "Chuck" Gerussi.
Chuck: Robin Sparkles was big. Gino Vannelli big. Who I discovered by the way.
Announcer: Robin's next song, "P.S. I Love You' was so dark, Dominant Records refused to release it. Few have ever seen the long-lost music video, but we found it.
["P.S. I Love You" music video:]
Robin: [singing] You, you're beautiful On your pedestal I see you You don't see me Am I just too young or just too dumb? Or maybe just too grungy? And I'm wearing my flannel, and I'm thinking of you ♪ I lace up my boots, and I'm thinking of you I write letters and letters They never get answered by you I'll never move on It'll always be you Every guy that I'm with I'll be thinking of you If I get married, he'll always be second to you I'll always be waiting for you P.S. I love you.
Future Ted: [v.o.] It was true. Marshall had become addicted to creating songs and photo montages documenting various mundane events. So for months, all of Marshall's friends and professional colleagues were getting e-mails like this...
[Ted plays a series of video montages from Marshall featuring songs]
Marshall: [singing] Ordered Chinese food today Some moo shu pork sauce got away Flipped the cushion, Now everything's okay.
Marshall: [singing] Cat sitting for Lily's mom, Cat sitting for Lily's mom, It's gonna be fun, It's gonna bring us all closer together. [In one of the pictures, the cat is seen climbing out the window]
Marshall: [singing] Cat funeral, Cat funeral, It was an accident And not entirely my fault, Cat funeral, Meow, meow, meow, meow, Cat funeral, meow, meow, meow, meow. We'll miss you, Whiskers. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow...
[theme song to Barney Stinson's resume:]
Barney: [singing] Barney Stinson Barney Stinson That guy's awesome Awesome He's so awesome He's so awesome Oh, so awesome Awesome This isn't Barney Stinson Singing this song That would be really lame One of the many admirers Who think that guy is awesome References available Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Awesome, awesome Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Awesome He's from awesome town Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Awesome
Barney: [singing] I know what you're thinking What's Barney been drinking? That girl was smoking hot Yes, I could've nailed her But no, it's not a failure 'Cause there's one thing she is not To score a ten would be just fine
But I'd rather be dressed to the nines It's a truth you can't refute Nothing suits me like a suit!
Picture a world Where all the boys and girls Are impeccably well-dressed That delivery guy in a jacket and tie That puppy in a double-breast That '80s dude with muttonchops That baby with a lollipop That lady cop who's kind of cute Nothing suits them like a suit
Barney: A wingman I can wear
Barney: They're oh, so debonair
Barney: The perfect way to snare A girl with daddy issues
Barney: In navy blue or black Check out this perfect rack I want to give them a squeeze
Marshall: Oh, really? Then answer these questions if you please [Irish accent] What would you do if you had to choose Between your suits and a pot of gold?
Ted: What would you say if you gave your suits away And in return you'd never grow old?
Robin: What would you pick? One million chicks Or a single three-piece suit?
Barney: It's moot
Lily: What if world peace Were within your reach?
Barney: [talking] I'm gonna stop you right there. It's suits. Come on, Lily, get your head out of your ass.
Barney: Two, three, four [singing] Girls will go and girls will come But there's only one absolute Every bro on the go needs to know That there's no accepted substitute I'm sorry, suits, let's make amends My Sunday best are my best friends Send casual Friday down the laundry chute 'Cause nothing suits the undisputed Oft-saluted suitor of repute Like... A... Wait for it... Suit
Choir: Nothing suits him Like a suit Suit Up! Suit Up! Suit Up! Suit Up!
Barney: [talking] Then again, she is pretty hot.
Jessica Glitter: [singing] Hey, beaver, come on When you feel alone Just pick up that phone And I'll be there
to share my
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Ice cream cone We'll lick it side by side
Barney: Wow. This is so dirty.
Marshall: Come on, Barney. It's a sweet song about friendship.
Ted: Yeah, dude, come on.
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Day is done Two beavers are better than one Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah Two beavers are better than one They're twice the fun Ask anyone A second beaver can be second to none Two beavers are better than one.
[The Canadian flag unfurls behind Robin and Jessica]
Robin & Jessica Glitter: Dah, dah-dah, dah-dah, dah... You're my favorite beaver...
Barney: What do we do?
James: You back down and let me get my mom and dad back together?
Barney: Um, how about you back down and let me get my mom and dad back together? I can already picture it.
[black-and-white musical fantasy scene:]
Loretta: [all singing] We're reunited and we're going so strong
Jerry: My wife died parasailing and I've moved on
Both: And now our Barney-boy will always be near
Barney: I'll come to live with you and it won't be weird
Loretta: Of course not, Wuv-Wuv!
All: Back together and forever we'll be
Jerry: And Dad
Barney: And Barney makes three
Jerry: We love you, champ!
Robin: And I'll live here, too, since we're married and I'm totally cool with it!
Robin: Okay, you guys know how my mornings usually go.
Marshall: Why would we care how...
Robin: Usually it's like this.
[fantasy scene of Robin queuing:]
Man #1: After you.
Robin: Aw, thank you.
Man #2: On the house, Robin!
Man #3: [all singing] Take this bagel on the house
Man #4: Have a paper on the house
Man #5: I'd give you a house on the house if I could
All: You're so beautiful Everything in life should be free
Robin: It's so wonderful to be me!
Lily: Wow. Do Do little bluebirds help you get dressed in the morning, too?
All: She's exaggerating to make a point!
Ted: Come on, they just got excited. They've been looking for couple best friends forever. Plus, I'm sure they weren't that bad.
Robin: Show him.
Barney: This is a web site Marshall already made about last night. It's called itwasthebestnightever.com.
[on the video, Marshall sings a song while a montage of photographs from the night are displayed:]
Marshall: [singing] It was the best night ever Laughter raining down Like April showers Oh, we talked for hours... best night ever...
Ted: Oh, that's not good.
Marshall: [singing on video] Then we played charades. Lily made some creme brulee, lay-lay-lay-lay And now that we're best couple friends There's only one thing left to say... Are you free? Are you free? Are you free? Are you free? Are you free next Saturday? [speaking] That's the 17th. [singing] Are you free? [speaking] Friday or Sunday would also work. Or basically any other day.
Barney: Needless to say, we've both changed our e-mail addresses.
Future Ted: [v.o.] To this day, Robin and Barney swear this is the song they danced to that night.
Singer: [singing] You fooled around on your baby Now the least you could do is to tell her the truth Yes, you in the suit Or that secret will eat up your soul Girl, the guilt's gonna drive you crazy Crazy You can't live with this lie, Kevin's such a nice guy Gotta tell him tonight Tell them right here on this boat You're like scum round the edge of a toilet bowl Flush What the hell is in the place where you should have a soul? Slut You did these two wrong Don't wait too long In fact, you know what? Tell them right during this song Tell ', tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em I'll wait. Tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em, tell 'em Oh, come on, seriously, you're not gonna tell them?
Barney: We have to tell them.
Robin: Right now.
Singer: Sure, act like it was your idea. Seriously, you guys suck.
Marshall: [singing] As Marshall ran with all his might And passed his friend Christine
Marshall: Hey, Christine.
Marshall: [singing] He thought of all the times That he had beaten the machine. He triumphed over "Pitfall"
Young Marshall: Yes!
Marshall: [singing] He vanquished the alarm
Marshall: [singing] He brought the jukebox back to life With his Fonzarelli arm Marshall vs. the machines