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29Quotes from ‘The Final Page (Part 2)’

How I Met Your Mother: The Final Page (Part 2)

812. The Final Page (Part 2)

Aired December 17, 2012

Ted wonders whether to tell Robin that Barney is set to propose to Patrice. Meanwhile, Lily and Marshall get their first romantic night away from Marvin.

Quote from Marshall

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

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Quote from Robin

Robin: I appreciate what you're doing. But I'm not chasing after Barney anymore. I just got done being crazy about all that. I mean, why would I want to throw myself back in that pit?
Ted: Because you're in love with him.
Robin: No, I'm not. I'm happy for him.
Ted: So, it doesn't bother you that Barney Stinson's gonna propose to another woman on top of the World Wide News building?
Robin: Wait, why the top of the World Wide News building?
Ted: I guess it's Patrice's favorite spot in the city.
Robin: Damn it, Patrice, that's my favorite spot in the city!
Ted: Whoa. [phone chimes] Ranjit says, "Whoa."

Quote from Ted

Ted: Look, I just appreciate you showing up at all on your big night away. I mean, Barney's not even gonna be there.
Marshall: What?
Robin: This is the biggest night of your career. Why isn't Barney coming?
Ted: I don't know. He said, "Legendary" and "Challenge accepted," and then he winked. "Wait for it," you know, all that stuff.
Marshall: That does sound like him.

Quote from Robin

Robin: I told you, I am done chasing Barney. Now can we please go to your party?
Ted: Robin, do you want to spend tonight making small talk with a bunch of bankers in a daring yet refined contemporary masterpiece King Kong should feel lucky to climb... or do you want to follow your heart?
Robin: Why do you keep insisting that I have feelings for Barney?
Ted: Because you do. [phone chimes] See, even Ranjit agrees. Oh, he's got to pee. The point is, you're not over Barney. That's why you freaked out about him proposing on the roof of the World Wide News building.
Robin: I did not freak out. It's just... a teeny, tiny bit annoying that I am the one who showed her that roof in the first place! Damn it, Patrice!
Ted: Whoa. [phone chimes] "Never mind. I found a soda bottle." Okay, that's disturbing.

Quote from Barney

[When Robin reaches the roof of the World Wide News building, there are candles, lights and flower petals laid around, but nobody in sight. Robin walks over to a piece of paper and picks it up. It's titled "The Robin".]
Barney: [v.o.] The Robin.
[title card: The Robin]
Barney: [v.o.] Step one: admit to yourself that you still have feelings for this girl. [flashback] I am hopelessly, irretrievably in love with her. More than she knows. [v.o.] Step two: choose the completely wrong moment to make a drunken move after hanging out at a strip club and get shot down on purpose. Step three: agree that you two don't work, locking the door on any future you could have together. [flashback] I'm done trying to get you. I can't do it anymore. [v.o.] Which will drive Robin nuts.
Robin: Huh.
Barney: [v.o.] Step four: Robin goes nuts. Step five: find the person who annoys Robin most in the world...
Robin: Nobody asked for your help, Patrice!
Barney: [v.o.] ...and ask for her help.
Patrice: Oh, hi, Barney. What are you doing here?
Barney: Actually, I'm looking for you. This may sound kind of weird, but I have a proposition... [v.o.] Explain everything to Patrice and hope she agrees to help.
Patrice: Yay. I love Robin. Of course I'll help.
Barney: Good, good. [v.o.] Step six: check with your doctor about possible broken ribs. Step seven: pretend to be dating Patrice.
Robin: Nobody asked you here, Patrice!
Barney: Actually, I did.
Barney: [v.o.] Step eight: wait until Robin inevitably breaks into your place to find the Playbook and show it to Patrice, which you'll monitor via the hidden cameras you have in your apartment.
Barney: Patrice, the robin's in the nest. That means Robin broke into my apartment. Were you even listening when I explained the codes?
Barney: [v.o.] Step nine: after Patrice finds the Playbook, have your first big fight. [flashback] This is going so well. Thank you so much.
Patrice: I know, but what the heck are Lily and Ted doing here?
Barney: I don't know. My friends have no boundaries. [groans] How can I ever thank you?
Patrice: Will you watch my cat next weekend?
Barney: No. Come on, we should probably go back inside.
Barney: [v.o.] Step ten: prove your loyalty to Patrice by burning the Playbook, and actually burn it. You don't need it anymore. Step 11: because your friends have no boundaries, they'll inevitably have an intervention for Robin, which you'll monitor via the hidden cameras you have in Marshall and Lily's apartment. Step 12: tell only Ted about your plan to propose to Patrice. [flashback] You can't tell anybody. Agreed? [v.o.] Step 13: wait and see if Ted tells Robin, and if he does...
Ted: Barney's getting engaged.
Barney: [v.o.] ...it means your best bro in the world has let go of Robin and has given you his blessing. Step 14: Robin arrives at her favorite spot in the city and finds the secret final page of the Playbook. The last play you'll ever run. Step 15: Robin realizes she's standing underneath mistletoe.

Quote from Barney

Robin: [sighs] Seriously, Barney? Even you, even someone as certifiably insane as you must realize that this is too far. You lied to me, manipulated me for weeks. Do you really think I could ever kiss you after that? Do you really think I could ever trust you after that? This... This is proof of why we don't work, why we'll never work. So thank you. You've set me free because, how could I be with a man who thinks that this... trick, this enormous lie could ever make me want to date him again?
Barney: Turn it over.
[The other side of the page reads "Step 16: Hope she says yes". When Robin looks up, Barney is down on one knee with an engagement ring]
Barney: Robin Scherbatsky, will you marry me?
Robin: Yes.

Quote from Ranjit

Robin: Bar-Barney's getting engaged?
Ted: He asked me to keep it a secret, but I thought you deserved to know... in case you wanted to do something about it. Do you?
Ranjit: [o.s.] Do you, Robin?
Ted: Ranjit, a little privacy, please?
Ranjit: [o.s.] Sorry, not listening.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Wow. Nice. You know, now that I'm here, I don't feel that anxious. [phone rings] It's my dad. Something horrible's happened! My husband, relax.
Marshall: [on the phone] Hey, um, I'm gonna be a little while, baby. It's a long story, but Ted needs my help.
Lily: Okay, but hurry or I'm gonna start doing number 11 on my own.
Marshall: You can do that by yourself?
Lily: Pilates, bitch.

Quote from Mickey

Lily: [on the phone] Hey, Dad, just taking a break from our amazing night to check in. I bet Marvin's pretty devastated that I'm not there, huh?
Mickey: Not at all. I don't think he even noticed you're gone. It's kind of like Mommy who? [laughs]
Lily: Oh... Oh, good. But I should probably sing him his nighttime lullaby over the phone, just in case.
Mickey: Sang it already, nailed it.
Lily: Did you do the horsie?
Mickey: Yep.
Lily: The birdie?
Mickey: Yep.
Lily: Elephant?
Mickey: Yep.
Lily: Moose.
Mickey: No moose, trick question.
Lily: Robot.
Mickey: [robot voice] Affirmative. Look, I should go. Marvin's asleep in my arms. Mmm, his head smells like love. Bye.

Quote from Ranjit

Ted: So, what do you want to do?
Ranjit: Robin, I do not want to meddle, but this is like the classic love song says... [sings loudly and high-pitched in a foreign language]
Ted: Ranjit. Ranjit, let's just communicate via text from now on, okay?

Quote from Ranjit

Robin: Okay, maybe that one detail stings a little bit, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with Barney.
Ted: [phone chimes] "Sounds like she's in love with Barney." Okay, is this divider even slightly soundproof? [phone chimes] "Yes." With a little winky face.

Quote from Ted

Robin: Hey. Do you realize that something you thought up in your head now exists as a part of the Manhattan skyline? That's huge.
Ted: It's just a building. I mean, I'm incredibly young for such an achievement, but it's just a building. I mean, Architecture Vision Weekly may have dubbed it "more than just a building," but it's just a building. So let's not get carried... Okay, you're right, it's huge.
Robin: It is huge. You're the star of the party, and who knows? Maybe the future Mrs. Ted Mosby is gonna be there.
Ted: Yeah, maybe she will.
Robin: Oh. Wait, this isn't your... [sighs] This is the World Wide News building.
Ted: Go get him.

Quote from Ted

Robin: What do you want me to do, Ted? Run up to that roof, knock the ring out of Barney's hand, and say, "Sorry to interrupt, but you should be with me"?
Ted: Is that what you want?
Robin: No. I don't. I can't keep making an ass of myself.
Ted: Well, a word in defense of making an ass of yourself, it's underrated. Eight years ago I made an ass of myself chasing after you, and I've made an ass of myself chasing after you a bunch of times since then. But I have no regrets. Because it led me to something that I wouldn't trade for the world. It led to you being my friend. So, as your friend and a leading expert in the field of making an ass of yourself, I say to you from the heart, get the hell out of this car.
Robin: [exhales] But, Ted, your big night.
Ted: It's just a building.

Quote from Marshall

Future Ted: [v.o.] So I had promised not to tell anyone about Barney's plan to propose to Patrice. But I knew deep down Robin deserved to know.
Marshall: Uh, there he is! The youngest architect ever to build a skyscraper in New York City! The shockingly still single Ted Mosby. You hear that, ladies?
Lily: I can't believe the GNB Tower opens tonight. Ted, your building finally gets unveiled to the whole world.
Marshall: [gasps] You hear that, ladies?!

Quote from Marshall

Lily: Oh, stop it, tonight is gonna be amazing.
Marshall: And we are definitely gonna be there to toast you, but we might have to leave a little early if that's okay.
Lily: My dad just gave us the most amazing Christmas gift ever. Our first night away since Marvin was born.
Marshall: 24 hours straight without that little bastard. [Marshall and Lily high-five]
Robin: Aw. This will be a nice memory to share with Marvin when he's older and deciding whether or not to put you in a home.

Quote from Lily

Lily: Okay, Dad, I made you a list of Marvin's nightly schedule down to the minute.
Mickey: Okay. Uh, "9:06 p.m. put on edible underwear."
Lily: Wrong list, wrong list.


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