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30Quotes from ‘P.S. I Love You’

How I Met Your Mother: P.S. I Love You

815. P.S. I Love You

Aired February 4, 2013

When Marshall and Lily worry that Ted's new girlfriend is a stalker, Robin admits she was obsessed with a guy as a teenager. Barney's mission to identify the guy takes him to Canada, where he uncovers a Behind the Music-style documentary about Robin Sparkles.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Sparkles's hit records "Let's Go to the Mall' and "Sandcastles in the Sand" both went maple, with "Mall" eventually going double maple.
Luc Robitaille: I've never admitted this till now, but before a big game, I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" and get a good cry on. I'm not ashamed.
Announcer: But after endless touring, Robin started to crack.
Robin: [1996 interview] Who doesn't love the mall? Shopping with your friends and... I can't do this. Get this out of my face, please. Thank you. Pardon me. Thanks. Sorry.

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Quote from Ted

Ted: Look, there's a fine line between love and insanity. It's the Dobler-Dahmer theory.
[Lily and Barney groan]
Marshall: Damn, I always forget the little one.
Ted: If both people are into each other, a big romantic gesture works. Like Lloyd Dobler holding up the boom box outside Diane Court's window in Say Anything. But if one person isn't into the other, the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy, or Dahmer.

Quote from Barney

Barney: So are you the one that Robin stalked?
Simon: Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup.
Barney: What in God's name is that?
Simon: Only Canada's Super Bowl. Didn't you ever see Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes on MuchMusic?
Barney: Again, I have to go with, "What in God's name is that?"
Simon: It's only Canada's VH1's Behind the Music. There's one all about Robin Sparkles. Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed.
[Barney gets up and then runs out of Tim Hortons]

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: With her jelly bracelets, graffiti coat, and totally rad robot, no one symbolized the 1990s in Canada like Robin Sparkles. But as we'd all learn one heartbreaking Grey Cup Sunday, Canada's sweetheart had a dark side.
Paul Shaffer: I'll never forget that moment.
Geddy Lee: A little piece of Canada died that day.
Jason Priestley: To see her throw her life away like that, it was heartbreaking.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Her record producer, Chuck "Chuck" Gerussi.
Chuck: Robin Sparkles was big. Gino Vannelli big. Who I discovered by the way.
Announcer: Robin's next song, "P.S. I Love You' was so dark, Dominant Records refused to release it. Few have ever seen the long-lost music video, but we found it.
["P.S. I Love You" music video:]
Robin: [singing] You, you're beautiful On your pedestal I see you You don't see me Am I just too young or just too dumb? Or maybe just too grungy? And I'm wearing my flannel, and I'm thinking of you ♪ I lace up my boots, and I'm thinking of you I write letters and letters They never get answered by you I'll never move on It'll always be you Every guy that I'm with I'll be thinking of you If I get married, he'll always be second to you I'll always be waiting for you P.S. I love you.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Chuck: In 1996, we booked the halftime show for the Grey Cup. Huge gig. We're talkin' Ivor Wynne Stadium in Hamilton, just outside of Guelph. It doesn't get any bigger than that.
Robin: [on stage] Hello, Canada. I'm Robin Sparkles. Actually, I was Robin Sparkles.
Jason Priestley: The whole stadium went silent.
Paul Shaffer: Right then, I knew something terrible was gonna happen. My stomach started churning.
Robin: But Robin Sparkles is dead.
Jason Priestley: All I could hear was Paul Shaffer's stomach growling.
Paul Shaffer: Stress goes to my stomach. Sue me.
Jason Priestley: It was kind of disgusting.
Paul Shaffer: I'm sorry, Jason Priestley. I didn't realize you were the Queen of England.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Robin: My new name is... Robin Daggers! Two, three, four! [sings] Though you're beautiful...
Alex Trebek: That day is now known in music history as the day grunge was born.
[in the apartment:]
Ted: In 1996, in Canada? That seems right, Trebek.
Marshall: Give him a break. He's not a music guy.
[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Geddy Lee: That day is now known in music history as the day that grunge was born.
[in the apartment:]
Marshall: Well, that's a bummer.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Steven Page: It was tragic. I mean, to this day... you ask any Canadian where they were when Robin Sparkles lost it, not only can they tell you which Tim Hortons they were in, but what doughnut they were eating. Me? Wawa, Ontario. Blueberry fritter.
Geddy Lee: Halifax, Nova Scotia. Walnut crunch.
Luc Robitaille: Victoriaville, Quebec. Sour cream plain.
Alex Trebek: Sudbury, Ontario. Honey dip.
k.d. lang: Red Deer, Alberta. Chocolate glaze.
Jason Priestley: Squamish, British Columbia. Crammed a Timbit into a strawberry vanilla and invented The Priestley. Should've been the best day of my life.
Paul Shaffer: It was horrifying on so many levels. [stomach growls] Actually, you know what? I'm sorry, I can't... I just can't talk about this. I'm out of here, okay? I'm out of here. Here, excuse me. I'm sorry. Will you take... No, no, don't move. I'm out. Sorry, sorry.

Quote from Robin

[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Announcer: Speculation began immediately. Who was Robin Sparkles singing about with those angry, obsessive lyrics? Many names were suggested.
Geddy Lee: It wasn't me.
Steven Page: It wasn't me.
Jason Priestley: Wasn't me.
Luc Robitaille: It wasn't me.
Alex Trebek: It wasn't me.
Dave Coulier: It wasn't me. Why does everyone always think... it's me?
k.d. lang: I wish it was me.
Announcer: But one name comes up more than any other...
[later:]
Barney: Alan Thicke.
Alan Thicke: How can I help you? Doughnut?

Quote from Robin

[Robin Daggers "P.S. I Love You" music video:]
Robin: [singing] The law can't stop my love I'll fit you like a glove Restraining orders don't scare me The lawyers at the record company made me promise to say "That the views expressed in this song do not necessarily Reflect the views of Dominant Records Or any of its subsidiaries" I'm totally a slacker, and I don't even care With my curling zines and my faraway stare But deep down inside, yeah, deep down inside I'm dying I'm trapped in a cage of the tears I cry I'm praying to God, but she doesn't reply Even the robot says...
Robot: Move on.
Robin: I'm trying P.S. I love you

Quote from Barney

Barney: Now, uh, who's the guy?
Robin: I'm not telling you until you admit that this can happen to anybody.
Barney: I'm not admitting that.
Robin: Fine. Forget it. I'm not telling you.
Barney: Fine. Forgotten.
[cut to Barney, using Ted's power drill, to break into Robin's apartment, where he finds her journal]
[flashback to Robin as a teenager writing in her journal:]
Robin: [writing] You are so beautiful. Why can't you see me? Someday, I'll make you see me, and we'll be together. P.S. I love you. [echoes] P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you.
[present:]
Barney: [inner monologue] This is ridiculous ["re-dick-ulous"]. Who cares who she was obsessed with? What, am I gonna go to Canada and track this guy down?
[cut to an airplane taking off]

Quote from Barney

Barney: Gordie Bellavoh.
Gordie: Thanks again for the free doughnuts, eh? So, you up here visiting family?
Barney: No. I'm not Canadian. Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side. Shut up. We're not talking "aboat" me... about me. Whoa. How long did you and Robin date?
Gordie: Well, it wasn't really dating. We'd take a sixer of Labatts behind the hydro plant... and she'd let me go under parka, over turtleneck. Summer love.
Barney: Was Robin obsessed with you?
Gordie: No. No. Robin was way more into this guy named...

Quote from Barney

Barney: Turk Grimsby. I hear Robin was obsessed with you?
Turk: No. We only went out a few times, barely knew each other. All we talked about was her relationship with her mother, the gnawing feelings of inadequacy, all the horrible secrets on that side of the family. But heck, you're her fiancé. You know all that, right?
Barney: Yeah.
Turk: Robin was way more into this other guy. Can't seem to remember his name. Though sometimes a powdered jelly can help get the old noodle going. Ah. His name's...

Quote from Barney

Barney: Simon Tremblay. I should have known.
Simon: Eh. Thanks for the free doughnuts.
Barney: They're just doughnuts! Okay? They're like two for a loonie... dollar. What's happening?
Simon: Oh! Somebody moosed down all the jellies. Have you been hanging out with Turk Grimsby?
Barney: So how serious were you and Robin?
Simon: Well, serious enough to pop the question.
Barney: Wow. Really?
Simon: Yeah, sure. Got down on one goalie pad. I said, "Robin, could we keep dating, but I get to stick it to other babes?" Turned me down.
Barney: I'm so sorry.
Simon: Oh, that's okay. I really wanted to stick it to Louise Marsh. Still, as the years pass and you take stock of your life, part of me wishes I could've kept sticking it to Robin too.

Quote from Barney

Barney: Okay, anyway, here's my thing. [Barney does a drum roll on a portable drum] Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my back pocket the answer to the question... "Who was Robin obsessed with?" Hang on tight. [rim shot] It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all!
[All cheer]

Quote from Barney

Robin: Whoa. What happened to you?
Barney: We watched Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes today.
Robin: Wait, what? You guys get MuchMusic down here?
Barney: And that video led me to...
[flashback to Barney being pummeled by Alan Thicke:]
Barney: I am engaged to Robin Scherbatsky and I know that she wrote "P.S. I Love You" for you. Now- Now, why is she so obsessed with you?
Alan Thicke: What? That song's not about me.
Barney: Then who is it "aboot"? About! Damn it!
Alan Thicke: I don't know. I always thought it was Coulier.
[on "Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes":]
Dave Coulier: It wasn't me. Stop asking. Geez, cut it out.
Future Ted: [v.o.] [chuckles] I always liked that joke.

Quote from Barney

Lily: Alan Thicke kicked your ass.
Barney: He lied, didn't he? It was Alan Thicke!
Robin: Wow. It sounds like you've become a bit obsessed, huh, Barney?
Barney: I am not obsessed. All I did was break into your apartment and read your teenage journals, and fly to Vancouver to interrogate your ex-boyfriends, and fight beloved Canadian actor Alan Thicke... to a draw.
[flashback to Alan Thicke eating a doughnut while pinning Barney down:]
Barney: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Quote from Robin

Robin: So, ready to admit it?
Barney: Anyone can get obsessed.
Robin: Thank you. And now, I am ready to tell you who "P.S. I Love You" is about.
All: Who?
Robin: P. S... Paul Shaffer.
All: Paul Shaffer?
Robin: I know. So stereotypical. Every young Canadian girl fantasizes about being with Paul Shaffer. At the Grey Cup gig, Paul was sitting in the front row.
Lily: No wonder his stomach was growling.
Robin: I feel bad that I scared Paul. He's amazing. But I have no regrets. I was done being Robin Sparkles. ou're not gonna go get beat up by Paul Shaffer now, are you?
Barney: I can't believe it. I'm a total Dahmer.
Robin: Yeah, but you're my Dahmer, which makes you a Dobler.

Quote from Lily

Ted: Just like Jeanette.
Marshall: No! Ted, what that woman did to"run into you" was bonkers. That's just not how you start a healthy relationship. Tell him, Lil.
Lily: I can't stand it anymore. I've been living a lie.
Marshall: See?
[flashback to Lily in her college dorm room:]
Lily: [v.o.] I saw you at orientation and I needed an excuse to meet you, so... [rips wires out of her stereo] I didn't know which room you were in, so I had to create a little destiny.
[Lily goes door-to-door looking for Marshall, ignoring eligible men and one woman]
[present:]
Lily: I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.
Marshall: Could not stand the idea of not meeting me. I'm sorry, Ted. You were right. Jeanette's a Dobler. So are you.

Quote from Ted

Ted: You know, if you hadn't been reading the exact same book as me... We never would've met. I mean, that's destiny. Oh, look. You bought it in the same bookstore I did. On the same day. Within 10 minutes of me buying mine.
Jeanette: Uh, this is embarrassing. I wasn't gonna tell you this... but I followed you to that bookstore. I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you.
Ted: You followed me to the bookstore from where? H-How long have you been following me?
Jeanette: Uh, this is embarrassing. Uh, remember when you were on the cover of New York Magazine?
Ted: That was, like, a year and a half ago.
Jeanette: Yeah.
Future Ted: [v.o.] Before a man meets the woman he'll marry... he'll make one final, horrible mistake. For me, that was Jeanette.


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