Narrator: And Barry showed up at the cottage to make sure the scheme had worked.
Barry: You are here. Why was Michael so stingy with the dogshit?
Lucille: What are you doing here? Was Michael lying about talking to you on the phone just now?
Barry: Oh, no. That was me. I just wanted to see how Michael was enjoying knowing about the cottage.
Lucille: You want to know if we fell for Michael's and your little trap. It was a trap, wasn't it?
Barry: [chuckles] That's where you're wrong. Why would I do that?
Lucille: Because he paid your bail and threatened to make trouble for you if you didn't play along.
Barry: Now that's where you're right.

Jack Griffin: Your Honor, in the case of The State of California v. Buster Bluth, we'd like to enter a plea of guilty.
Judge Spencer: Hmm. Okay. Let's set a date for a sentencing presentation. And on a personal note, I just want to say that it is not often in the course of a jurisprudence career that a judge has the... I want to say privilege-
Michael: Sorry. Did- Did- Did you say- Did they say guilty?
Barry: Look at that. There is always a guy who wants to know what's going on. It's why I could never go to the movies with my father.

George Sr.: [on the phone] Hold on. A client is coming, and I don't know where Oscar is, he's disappeared. And there is something up with him because he is scary now. He has changed.
Barry: Hey, you've changed, you big [bleep]. You're acting like a little girl lately, and not in a good way. Pull yourself together. Act like a man.
George Sr.: You're right, you're right. Okay, love you.
Barry: Love you, too. Bye.

Michael: Why don't I have the family gather at the beach cottage about 3:00? You call me. You tell me you found out they've got the stair car evidence, and I wait for either Mom or Dad to make their next move. Any questions?
Buster: What's the beach cottage?
Michael: I found out, Buster.
Buster: Oh.
Barry: [exhales] What a relief. Because I almost said "the cottage" and then I changed it to "[bleep]ing on the beach."
Buster: It's "frolicking."
Barry: "Frolicking."

Narrator: Michael Bluth had called a meeting with the family's longtime attorney to discuss his father's incarceration.
Barry: I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay.
Narrator: But he was finding it difficult to get any answers.
Barry: How long was I on the phone?
Michael: Twenty-five minutes.
Barry: Well, you know, with the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour 'cause it's easier to bill all right.

Narrator: The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition, consists of live representations of classic works of art. The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam.
Buster: I don't really want to be Adam this year.
Barry: Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind, what, about five homos. [chuckles] [silence] That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. It's just that I have one down at the office now and, I mean, it is every day.

Barry: So, they're not filing charges. I got them to call your flee from justice "religious expression." This is a lawyer.
Michael: Yeah, he's he's very good.
Barry: You're gonna have to forfeit that bond. I was way off about that.
George Sr.: Thanks again, Mikey.
Barry: Can I ask you a question? Sure. Are all the guys in here, you know...
George Sr.: Oh, no, no, no. Not all of them.
Barry: Yeah. It's never the ones you hope.
George Sr.: Hope?
Barry: Think.

Barry: Do not ask me how I did it. They offered us a plea bargain.
Michael: Really? There's a chance we don't have to go to trial?
Barry: Absolutely, and I say we take it because we will never get an offer this good again.
Lindsay: Wow.
Michael: Great. What's the offer?
Barry: Well, I didn't read it. I just got it yesterday. F.Y.I., I'm trying to get back into the dating world.
[flashback:]
Barry: Hey, you're not one of those silly men that's dressed like a woman, are you?
Woman: No, baby. I'm the real thing. [Barry drives off]

Michael: All right, listen. This is all getting a little crazy. We cannot accept their conditions if we don't know what their conditions are.
Barry: Do you wanna read it?
Michael: Uh, no. It is thick. Why don't we just take it?
Barry: I could kiss you on the [bleep]
Michael: Well, let's- What?!

Barry: I got here as quickly as I could.
Michael: I didn't know you had a daughter?
Barry: I don't.
Woman: I thought you wanted me to call you Daddy?
Barry: Why don't you wait for Daddy in the car?