Narrator: Michael was heading off to work when his son, George Michael, reminded him of a yearly tradition.
George Michael: Hey, don't forget me.
Michael: For what?
George Michael: It's Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. And unless you had a daughter I don't know about, I'm your girl.
Narrator: Michael had first made this joke when George Michael was six.
[flashback:]
Michael: Well, she's not my daughter, but it's about as close as I'm gonna get.
Young George Michael: I'm a good little girl.
[flashback:]
Narrator: It was a joke Michael was starting to grow concerned about as it had not worn well with age.
George Michael: Hey, Dad. They're out of sanitary napkins in the ladies' washroom.
George Sr.: Weird kid.

Michael: Where are you getting all the money?
Lindsay: It's not costing you anything.
Michael: Unless you're stealing or working, I'm pretty sure it is.
Lindsay: That's right. I stole it.
Narrator: In fact, Lindsay, tired of wearing last year's fashions went to an upscale department store and in a moment of desperation applied for a job.
Lindsay: Can I have a job application please?
Narrator: But she was ashamed of being a shop girl and was relieved when Michael gave her the out.
Lindsay: Well, they expect a certain amount of theft, Michael. It's built into the price. If I didn't take it, then people would be overpaying for nothing.

Michael: Hey, Mom, why can't Buster pretend to be your escort? That's the way he's got it in all his cartoons.
Lucille: They already know he's my son.
Buster: I wouldn't go even if you asked. You didn't let me play soccer as a child. Why should I have to sit and cheer Annyong? Annyong never cheers me.
Annyong: Go, fatty. [Buster starts fighting with Annyong]
Lucille: Stop it! He's your little brother!
Buster: No, he's not! I came out of you! He didn't!

Michael: I don't think this year's such a good idea. You know you're getting older and...
George Michael: Yeah, right. Pretty soon I'm going to have to start wearing a bra. [chuckles] Right, Dad? All right, give me one minute.

Michael: This is work? Watching entertainment news?
Tobias: Well, excuse me, Michael, for not raising the perfect daughter that you did. I indulged this ritual for years in Boston.
Narrator: As a psychotherapist, Tobias was on the forefront of the self-esteem movement.
[flashback:]
Patient: There's, like, this longing, this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like some kind of-
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right though. You probably are a homosexual.

Gob: Oh, here it is. Here it is.
Announcer: [on tape] It was a wild time on the beach. And if you like magic, look away. The only thing this guy could make fly away was the crowd.
Tobias: [sing-songy] Douche chill.
Gob: I can't believe they used that part. The one part where I screw up. It's not like they used the part where I made the yacht disappear.
Michael: Sunk the yacht. Blew it up, sunk it.
Gob: We sure did.
Michael: We? No. I gave you permission to use the yacht. You blew it up.
Gob: Yeah, well, if you give someone permission to use a tissue you can't be upset if they blow their nose. Right? I mean, right?

Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?
Lindsay: No, I've had this for years. It's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: Got a price tag right there.
Lindsay: Is there? Oh, I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.
Lindsay: Fine. I bought it before we went broke, okay? I just haven't worn it yet.
Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old Thing gave it to me.

Michael: You're gonna take that back.
Lindsay: No, I'm not. This has nothing to do with you. You're not my father.
Michael: No, our father is in prison for stealing, remember? Which might not be a bad place for you to get used to.
Lindsay: Michael it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be okay.

Buster: She called you, huh? I guess I'm not good enough to be her husband.
Michael: What? What's going on?
Annyong: Okay. Mother wants someone to go to my soccer game with. She don't want other soccer moms think that she a single mother. She old school.
Michael: I liked it better when he just said annyong.

Narrator: And back at the model home three of the Bluth men struggled with their manliness.
George Michael: You know, I make jokes about being a daughter for my dad. I know I'm a man. It's his insecurity, not mine.
Gob: There's no security at that store. That's how she was able to shoplift. They probably don't have a regular security guard.
Tobias: Well, of course I could get a job as a security guard. I mean, if I have to have a job to impress my daughter. If she needs something that butch.
George Michael: Yeah. I can hang out with my uncles. Three men. What's butcher than that?
Gob: I'm going to the mall.
Tobias: Me too.
George Michael: Yeah, maybe a new pair of shoes will cheer me up.