Barry: All right. What do we have here?
Michael: Gob sunk the yacht. The last time Kitty was seen, she was getting onto it. It's on tape.
Barry: Ooh! Did you see this?
Maeby: Yep.
Barry: Ooh! Chills. Why do I keep getting these bruises?

Barry: Good to see you. You know what? Don't get too close to me. 'Cause I've got an itch you can't believe. I think something laid eggs on me.
Michael: Thanks for the heads-up.

Lindsay: Oh, Barry. Did you talk to a doctor?
Barry: I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? Where the hell did I get that?
Lucille: She was talking about George.
Barry: No, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide who's gonna speak for the family. I would but I have Laker tickets.

Lucille: It's all hitting me now. [sobs] This is really happening. All this awful funeral stuff! The will. We have to get the will. I don't know if enough time has passed. I don't know what I'm saying. Is it in your car, Barry? I'm gonna throw up! Check the car, Barry. I don't know what I'm saying!
Barry: The will is not here. The will is at my office, next to the hot plate with the frayed wires. I didn't, uh- It wasn't-
Narrator: In fact, Barry had lost George Sr.'s will.
Barry: How did I get here? Oh, my God, Lucille. He is gone!

Wayne Jarvis: Things could get very messy for you, Michael, unless you have something to bargain with like, say, a fugitive.
Michael: I don't know where to find such a thing.
Wayne Jarvis: Look harder. There might be something in it for you.
Michael: Something to get me off?
Wayne Jarvis: If you could find a certain someone.
Barry: Can I have a moment alone with my client, please? Did you follow any of that?
Michael: Yeah. He's hinting that he's gonna grant me immunity but only on the condition that I turn in my father.
Barry: You know where your father is? No, wait. Don't tell me now. Okay. If you know, give me a high five.

Narrator: Michael had just found out that his legal problems might go away if he turned in his father.
Barry: It's just you and me now, huh? [holds up hand for a high-five]
Michael: No, Barry, I- I know where my father is, okay? He came back to make sure that my mother wasn't really in love with my uncle. He wants to know if he's still got a shot with her. If he doesn't, he's leaving.
Barry: Well, if he's got a shot with her, just give me a little tap on the fanny.
Michael: That's not gonna happen.
Barry: Okay. Then look, just tell him anything he wants to hear to keep him from running. We just have to keep him here until we can hear what kind of deal they're offering you. You just trust me. I'm a lot more competent than you can imagine. [a fire breaks out in the microwave] Oh, I forgot to take the tinfoil off too. I really wanted that.

Wayne Jarvis: I felt obligated to share some photographs with you. I obtained these from the Bluth Company e-mail server.
Michael: You tapped into our e-mail? That's legal?
Barry: I'm going for a hot Ding Dong. Hot Ding Dong?

Wayne Jarvis: Michael, when we started talking to you, we didn't have anything. But now we got something. And you're gonna do time for it.
Barry: Those are the pictures?
Wayne Jarvis: They're all over the news.
Barry: Those are balls.
Wayne Jarvis: What?
Narrator: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself while learning to use his camera phone.
Barry: See, uh, this close, they always look like landscape. Nope, you're lookin' at balls.
Narrator: Soon, forensic scientists confirmed this. And for the second time in two days the information-sharing network put into place by the Patriot Act was put to use.

Barry: Good news and even better news. Your company's stock is unfrozen and my lawsuit against the L.A. Kings is moving forward.
Michael: How did that happen?
Barry: Maybe I stood above the plexiglass and a puck hit me. It could happen.
Michael: No, the stock. Now, that means we can sell, right? We can do whatever we want with it?
Barry: I'll tell you one thing you don't want to do is buy stock in the L.A. Kings.

Narrator: Michael had bought a car and it had helped put the company in jeopardy.
Barry: I'm sorry about the patch. I'm testifying against the Kings this afternoon. You can't see it. I just winked. So basically, you're about 2,000 shares short of being the majority stockholders. Now unfortunately, it's a private stock so you cannot just buy up the shares unless someone is willing to sell.
Michael: Are you sure?
Barry: That's what they said on AskJeeves.