Lucille: Maybe he went to find Oscar, warn him about the picture.
Barry: You think he really did? Because I think the prosecution gave us this picture so that George or you would lead them to Lucille 2.
Lucille: Go find him. Track him down. Get to him before he finds Lucille 2. I will not let that woman steal everything I've taken from her.

George Michael: We've got to stop the lying in this family.
Maeby: Tell me about it. I mean, you tell one little story to get a place to live. Next thing you know, you're sorting through your roommate's pills to figure out which one will kill his sex drive.
George Michael: What you mean like estrogen?
Maeby: Wait, that's a thing? I mean, I was just day plotting.
George Michael: I'm going to stop you right there. The minute you start talking about neutering your romantic partner, you're into shit that even Gangie wouldn't do.
Maeby: The monster or the grandmother?
George Michael: The monster. But, yeah, I don't think our grandmother would do that.
Maeby: Yeah, maybe it is too far. I guess I can just pretend like I have an illness where I forget everything.
George Michael: You mean like Alzheimer's?
Maeby: That's a thing, too? I was just crime-storming. You know, just lying out loud. How funny.

Barry: I think that mothers cannot accept the idea that they've raised someone who could do something so vile.
Buster: What?
Barry: In my case, twice. Well, two times, allegedly. This falls under client-attorney privilege, right?

Lucille: Tobias better find Lindsay before the 4th of July parade, which is on the 2nd.
Michael: The 4th of July parade is on the 2nd?
Lucille: Mm. Yes. They moved it because they don't want the Hispanics to get even by using up all the supplies a day early like we do with Cinco.
George Sr.: Yeah, and good luck using the 4th of July fireworks on the 3rd, because we will have done it on the 2nd.

[Maeby reluctantly answers her phone]
George Michael: [on phone] Maeby? Hello?
Maeby: I think my phone's ringing.
George Michael: Maeby. Hello? Come on. Hello?
Maeby: Hello?
George Michael: It's me. I know you're not old. Can we have a system where I don't have to wait the 40 seconds?
Maeby: Look, I have to be careful, okay? These are not tech-savvy people. The other day, I turned the lounge TV on, and now that's my job. They call me "Buttons" now. Buttons.

Michael: I'm waiting to hear from Barry, so I don't have too much new information.
Lucille: Uh, Barry's probably trying to mitigate the damage you caused by taunting Buster with a skinhead.
Michael: Okay, you gotta blame Buster for that. Say what you will about Ron Howard as a filmmaker, but the man is not a Nazi sympathizer.
Narrator: Thanks.
Gob: Well, I've heard things about what's really going on in that Grinch movie he made. You know, that anti-Christmas thing, with the Who-ish people?

Michael: Now that we're talking about money, I want to tell you, I couldn't be more proud of what you've been able to do with the Fakeblock thing. But with this kind of success, it puts a target on your back. People are gonna think, "Here comes the next Steve Gobs." They're gonna want-
George Michael: Jobs.
Michael: Jobs, for sure, but they're also gonna want money.

George Michael: How'd you know I had red hair? Did you see it on Instagram?
Michael: Yes. I did. I did. I did. I just didn't want to embarrass you. Showed up on my e-mail this morning.
George Michael: So you use Instagram?
Michael: Mm-mm. No, no. Your uncle showed it to me. You know me. I'm a 20th-century guy. You can keep that futuristic stuff. Okay? Okay. Prismo. Begin. [car chimes] User, Michael Bluth. Lost my keys. Okay, Prismo, reverse.
Automated Voice: I will. And how was
Michael's voice: Mom's fucking cottage...

Narrator: And Barry showed up at the cottage to make sure the scheme had worked.
Barry: You are here. Why was Michael so stingy with the dogshit?
Lucille: What are you doing here? Was Michael lying about talking to you on the phone just now?
Barry: Oh, no. That was me. I just wanted to see how Michael was enjoying knowing about the cottage.
Lucille: You want to know if we fell for Michael's and your little trap. It was a trap, wasn't it?
Barry: [chuckles] That's where you're wrong. Why would I do that?
Lucille: Because he paid your bail and threatened to make trouble for you if you didn't play along.
Barry: Now that's where you're right.

Buster: I take it Mother's not coming.
Michael: Mom? No. She couldn't make it.
Buster: Why is that?
Michael: She said that I could make up whatever reason I want. You tell me what is easiest on you.
Buster: Hmm, no, it's too mean.
Michael: I think you're entitled, Buster.
Buster: She hates you, Michael.
Michael: We'll use that one. Sure.