Mindy St. Claire: Sorry about before. One of the perks of living alone is that I get to just walk around naked.
Eleanor: [laughs] My kind of gal. And I gotta say, you keep it tight.
Mindy St. Claire: Oh, that is the nicest and only thing anyone has said to me in 30 years.
Eleanor: So tell us everything. I mean, what did you do to end up here?
Mindy St. Claire: That's kind of a long story. Gonna need a drink or three.
Eleanor: Definitely my kind of gal.
Jason: You guys have fun. This is me and Janet's honeymoon, so we're gonna go try and figure out how to have sex.

Mindy St. Claire: I think he has a good point. I wouldn't go back for those turkeys.
Eleanor: How can you say that?
Mindy St. Claire: Think practically here. Okay, you go back, you turn yourself in, you get sent to the Bad Place, and you never see your friends again. Or you stay here, you're safe from the Bad Place, and you never see your friends again. It's the same results, except if you stay here, you don't get tortured.
Eleanor: But they do.
Mindy St. Claire: That's their problem. Your problem is whether you get tortured. Now if you'll excuse me, it's my masturbating time.
Eleanor: When isn't it? We're going back.
Jason: But...
Eleanor: Now.

Mindy St. Claire: You need my backyard? For what?
Michael: We're conducting an important experiment...
Mindy St. Claire: Okay, you know what? I don't care. In fact, as soon as I started asking the question, I thought to myself, "Why are you asking this? You don't care about the answer." Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it. And if you want to talk to someone, talk to Derek. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.

Mindy St. Claire: You know, it's bad enough you guys have taken over my house for a year and I've had to move into the attic, but now I have to walk in to find Darth Vader's turd in the middle of my living room. I mean, what is this?
Jason: No time to explain. Also, I kind of forgot. Where is Derek's plunger? The one that kills him.
[later:]
Mindy St. Claire: Yeah, I used to do this whenever I needed some alone time. Once, I rebooted him just because he was breathing super loud. Then, when he woke up, he was like, "I don't breathe." So I don't know what I heard.
Jason: Well, I'm doing this because he's trying to steal my girlfriend.
Mindy St. Claire: Yeah, you don't need to justify it. Again, I do it all the time.
Derek: [appears] No, no, no, Mindy, please wait, don't kill me! Oh... it's you? Okay, well, you certainly don't have the Dereks to... [Jason hits the plunger]
Mindy St. Claire: [laughs] Yeah! Oh, it's always good.

Eleanor: Great. So, you go back to your old life, chill with your floating Derek head, when Tahani gets certified, you enter the system, Tahani designs your test. Deal?
Mindy St. Claire: Why not? Something new. [Tahani chuckles] Thanks for giving a crap about me. I don't really give a crap about myself, so it's nice that someone does. I'm really glad I filmed you having sex.
Eleanor: Me too.