Kramer: Well, I've had it with these jackbooted thugs!
Jerry: Pottery Barn?
Kramer: I got three Pottery Barn catalogs in one day. That makes eight this month.
George: [looking at cover] Mira Sorvino. Think she'd go out with me?
Jerry: Why don't you just throw 'em out?
Kramer: Oh, no. I've been saving them up here in your apartment. And now, it's payback time. Pottery Barn is in for a world of hurt.

George: Man, I'm starving.
Elaine: How can you be hungry after what you ate at that Mets game?
George: Because ballpark food doesn't count as real food.
Jerry: Right. It's just an activity. It's like that paddle with the ball and the rubber band.
Kramer: You know, my friend Bob Saccamano made a fortune off of those. See, he came up with the idea for the rubber band. Before that, people would just hit the ball, and it would fly away.

Kramer: Elaine, uh, what'd he say?
Elaine: What did who say?
Kramer: Your boss. Didn't you tell him about the coffee table book?
Elaine: Um...
Kramer: Yeah, you didn't tell him did you?
Elaine: Kramer, it is such a dumb idea. I would be- [raises her voice] I would be embarrassed to bring it up.
Jerry: I thought it was a pretty good idea. It's about coffee tables, it's on a coffee table.
Kramer: Yeah, right, right. And on the cover is a built-in coaster. [clicks tongue]

Kramer: I don't understand. How can you have a cigar store, without an Indian? It's unseemly.
Spike: I'll give you a box of Coronas for it.
Kramer: Forget it.
Mr. Lippman: Uh, excuse me. Are you uh, selling this Indian?
Kramer: Oh yeah, yeah.
Mr. Lippman: Uh, I'm just uh, redecorating my office in a south-western motif and this'd be perfect. Give you five hundred dollars for it?
Kramer: Giddyup.
Mr. Lippman: Yeah? Could you help me bring it up to my office, I'm right next door. Pendant Publishing.
Kramer: Pendant Publishing? Giddyup again.

Kramer: Hey, you like sending out catalogs!? How do you like getting them back!?

Kramer: I must have been out of my mind. Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life? Sit around here all day, you contribute nothing to society. You're just taking up space. How could I be with someone like you? Couldn't respect myself.

Kramer: Did you take this out of the garbage?
Jerry: Yeah, it's still got some spring in the strings.
Kramer: Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of junk. [puts racket in the trash] How are you gonna be the executor of my living will? [Jerry retrieves the racket] You see? You can't let go.
Jerry: Trust me, Kramer. Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.
Kramer: I wish I could believe you. Hey, Elaine, do you have some free time tomorrow afternoon?
Elaine: Me?
Kramer: Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, cold-hearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.
Elaine: [flattered] Oh, come on.

Man: [to his son] And over there, that's Brooklyn . That's where Spike Lee lives.
[The boy sees Kramer in the water through the periscope]
Boy: Hey, there's a man swimming in the water.
Man: No, that's probably just a dead body, son. You see, when the mob kills someone they through the body in the river.

Kramer: Elaine, I'm having a millennium party, so save the date.
Elaine: Hey, you know what? Newman sent me an invitation already, to his party.
Kramer: Newman?
Elaine: Yeah.
Kramer: "Come celebrate the millennium with 'Newmannium'." Newman!

Kramer: Oh, Jerry, these nosebleeds are starting again.
Jerry: Maybe we should get you to a hospital.
Kramer: I ain't going to no Bellevue. Look at me, I'm falling apart here.