Alexis: Okay, here's how it's gonna go down. It's 30 seconds each, tickets in hand, or it's back of the line, and no, she will not be clarifying any Sunrise Bay plot points.
Moira: Ahem. Feet.
Alexis: Oh, yes. And if we're talking feet, it's $75 for one, $150 for the pair.

Johnny: Do you know how many times I've had to apologize to Roland? You can't just leave with other people's trucks, David! What were you thinking?
Moira: What you did was impulsive, capricious and melodramatic. But it was also wrong.

Moira: Well, I'm off. [baby cries]
Johnny: All right, have fun, sweetheart.
Moira: You realize the bébé is crying?
Johnny: I do, yes.
Moira: Isn't it scheduled to be dormant by now?

Moira: This place is almost charming. Very rustic cottage. I was half expecting early unibomber.

Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]

Moira: Alexis, dear, now is bad a time as any to tell you. There is a dark side to Mummy's industry, and I've tried to protect you from it your whole life.
Alexis: You took me to the Playboy Mansion when I was seven.
Moira: And you had a wonderful time in the children's grotto. But, this! Alexis, you shouldn't have to see this. Thespians selling their autographs for money in cheerless convention centers.

Moira: I knew this day would come, John. Isolated, impoverished, cut off from all medical services. I only prayed it wouldn't be Alexis.
Johnny: It's just a cold, Moira.
Moira: Oh, it's always just a cold, John, until it's full blown Typhoid!
Alexis: [o.s.] I don't have typhoid!
Moira: Well, of course you don't. What are the chances of that?! Do you remember Valentina? Our chambermaid in little Martinique? We all thought she had just a cold, until it was too late! I'll never shake the mental image of her frothing and flailing in the water taxi!
Alexis: [o.s.] I can still hear you!
Moira: We love you, Alexis!

Alexis: Well, you wouldn't need these if you were having lunch with David.
Moira: Oh, Alexis, please. I wasn't even sure you'd show up.
Alexis: [scoffs] Why wouldn't I show up?
Moira: You've never wanted to spend time alone with me. There, I said it.
Alexis: You never asked.
Moira: Bordeaux?! The trip I planned for the two of us?
Alexis: That was a wine tasting tour, and I was seven years old!
Moira: You could've used the spittoon. That's what the other children did.

Moira: Well hello, all of you. Hello, hi. Isn't this a glittering sea of hopeful faces?
Johnny: My lovely wife, Moira.
Man: We wanna go outside.
Johnny: Outside.
Moira: Well, of course you do, who doesn't want to go outside? But it's also important to cherish what's going on inside. It's times like these that reminds one of the fact that we're all still alive. Don't you dare take that for granted. One day you're asking for an anti-inflammatory, the next day you've passed away in your sleep!
Johnny: I think we're getting a little off-topic, sweetheart.
Moira: The point being, no one knows when we're going to die! Or be implicated in, and then suddenly cleared of someone else's death. [coroner's van starts up, Stevie signals to Moira and Johnny] So, so, drink up! Go outside! And live your lives!

Moira: No, I'll talk to her. Yes, I'll tell her she has no right to lay this financial and psychological burden on us!
Johnny: Well, maybe I'll talk to her.
Moira: Now she has to move into one of those homes for unwed mothers!
David: Oh, my God, imagine?
Johnny: Moira, that's not gonna happen.
Moira: Oh, I'm sure there are plenty of them on this side of the tracks. Let the nuns take care of the little stranger!